I often feel indignant when people don’t give me the benefit of the doubt, or question my intentions. I know my intentions are good, even if I didn’t say it quite right or made a mistake in how I handled something. “After all we’ve been through, are you seriously questioning me?”
Here’s the hard reality.
Trust should never be assumed, and it must be earned in every interaction.
The danger of expecting that people will trust me is that I get complacent about making trust money deposits, and careless about withdrawals.
Trust Money Deposits
- Declaring my intentions, every time
- Listening to understand
- Validating someone else’s experience
- Getting curious
- Caring about the person as much as the task
- Following through on commitments
- Apologizing for mistakes
Trust money deposits help support me when I do make a mistake or behave in an unexpected way.
But trust money withdrawals are very costly. Trust money takes a long time to earn, and a very short time to spend.
Trust Money Withdrawals
- Focusing more on the task than the person
- Discounting or redefining someone else’s experience
- Making excuses
- Blaming others
- Turning conversations into competitions
- Breaking promises
- Minimizing your own mistakes
- Making it personal when it doesn’t need to be
How To Keep A Positive Trust Money Account
- Never expect someone to give you the benefit of the doubt, so leave them no doubt about your intentions.
- Make trust money deposits in every interaction.
- Minimize trust money withdrawals.
Compassion is the practice of demonstrating that people are valuable, capable, and responsible. Compassion builds trust.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2019
December 2-9 ONLY