transformative communication

Can Your Behavior Model Do This? Tips For Evaluation And Selection

In the two decades I’ve been working with people around behavior change, I’ve been exposed to a lot of models, from personality models, to change models, to conflict models, even models I’ve made up myself because nothing else seemed to work. What they all have in common is they claim to unlock the key to behavior change.

A model is any system or framework that attempts to organize knowledge in a more understandable and useful way. I assume the purpose of a model is to help common folk like you an I make sense of complicated stuff so we can be more effective in our lives. For me the real question becomes, “Does it make sense and am I more effective using it?” (more…)

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An Embargo On Emotional Exports

Have you ever heard someone express an emotional concern and then someone else gets busy trying to fix it? Someone might say, “I’m worried about the financial stability of our new investment partner.” Immediately, someone else tries to defend the financial stability of the new business partner, or go find information to help soothe this person’s worry. It’s like others accept the export, take on that person’s emotion, and then try to solve it for them. The exporting of emotions is a pervasive phenomenon that consumes tremendous amounts of time and results in very little positive outcomes. It’s drama. (more…)

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Extra Credit For Your Ego

I’m so proud of my daughters and their fine academic achievements. They’ve mastered the art of extra credit. Sometimes one of them will score well over 100% on a test by taking advantage of the extra credit option. Smart!

Our egos also like getting extra credit. It’s called Rescuer-Based Helping.

I see someone else in need. Perhaps they are struggling to figure out an assignment, or express anxiety about a relationship in their life. The compassionate me knows that the best thing to do is offer support, don’t try to fix it, and provide assistance only if asked. (more…)

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Daily Disciplines Are The Baby Steps To Breakthrough Success

“Every master was once a beginner. Every pro started as an amateur. Every icon began as an unknown.” – Robin Sharma

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the power of daily disciplines, those little habits that seem insignificant in the big scheme of things, but they piece together to create respectable bodies of work or even breakthrough success. For example;

  • It took us seven years of concerted effort to achieve a brand that was nationally recognized.
  • The blog articles you read now are a culmination of five years and hundreds of attempts to write something meaningful, useful, and a little bit better than the last one.
  • The compelling training experiences our clients enjoy today were preceded by thousands of preparation routines, feeling inadequate answering tough questions, fine-tuning how a concept is presented, and entering the ring another time.
  • Our intuitive Leading Out of Drama curriculum evolved from eight years of daily practice making concepts come alive through in conversations, worksheets, homework assignments, and sales presentations.
  • The Compassion Cycle model emerged from a commitment to daily conversations, hypothesis-testing, research, and pure trial and error that took almost five years.
  • Our social media strategy has evolved over six years, 15 minutes every day, researching, posting, learning, watching, and experimenting.

(more…)

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Tackling Workplace Conflict: Research And Best Practices To Stop The Drama

On average, employees around the world spend about 2.1 hours per week, or over one day per month, dealing with workplace conflict in some way. In the US, that number is higher (2.8 hrs/week) equating to approximately $359 billion in paid hours. Non-profit sectors experience the most workplace conflict, with nearly 48% of employees reporting conflict at work.

What is the actual prevalence of conflict in the workplace, what causes it, and what opportunities are there for positive changes? To answer this, I’ve studied the most comprehensive workplace conflict research I could find, a 2008 study commissioned by CPP Inc., one of Europe’s leading business psychology firms, and Fellipelli, one of South America’s leading business psychology firms. The study included survey data from 5000 employees at all levels of their companies in nine countries around Europe and the Americas and remains some of the most comprehensive and useful research available. Here’s a summary. (more…)

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The Map Is Not The Terrain

Have you ever gotten lost while following your SatNav GPS?

I bet you were so intent on the turn by turn navigation and watching the map that you missed valuable street signs, landmarks, and other signals that would have let you know you were off course.

Here are some models that sent a lot of people and resources down the wrong path. Did you know;

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Turning Social Media Drama Into Positive Energy

“You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.” – Tim Fargo

I wish I would have met and interviewed Tim Fargo a long time ago. It might have saved me some heartache from misguided Facebook posts or e-mails sent in the heat of the moment.

Tim Fargo is an entrepreneur, 2X Inc. 500 winner, international speaker, best-selling author, and president and CEO of Social Jukebox, a social media content management system. Tim wrote the Amazon best selling book, Alphabet Success, which distills the business and leadership lessons he’s learned through his journey of building and leading several highly successful companies.

Recently I interviewed Tim about social media drama, and how to turn it into positive energy.

The full interview is posted on my podcast.

Hear Tim’s wisdom on how to stay positive with social media. The first half focuses around healthy personal habits with social media. The second half focuses more on strategic use of social media. If you use SM for your business, there are some great tips in here! Learn about Social Jukebox, a terrific tool for being strategic in your social media activity.

Other nuggets from this podcast:

  • What’s the value of being strategic?
  • Who do you want to be online?
  • The role of social media in politics
  • Analysis of how Donald Trump is using of Twitter
  • When is it time to disengage?
  • From echo chamber to Social Media strategy
Copyright 2017, Next Element Consulting

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CWC + Discussion Guide

Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive guide for balancing compassion and accountability to build relationships that are safe, curious, and consistent.

 

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Four Counterproductive Myths About Conflict

This article was originally published in Fast Company

Conflict has a bad rap. Just think of the word. Ask people the first things that come mind when they hear it, and they’ll often say things like, “run away,” “somebody gets hurt,” “I hate it,” “fighting,” or “war.” Most peoples’ negative associations with conflict come from personal experience. Mine do, too. I grew up the son of Mennonite missionary parents. Mennonites are a Protestant denomination known for nonviolent conflict resolution. The early messages I heard growing up were, “Turn the other cheek” or “Find a way to solve your problem without resorting to violence.” My parents dedicated their lives to building more peaceful and uplifting relationships with others.

Conflict can be destructive, but it by no means has to be.

(more…)

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Three Words That Will Change Your Life

if you never use them again!

Are you still looking for a simple, yet powerful way to make a positive change this coming year? How about taking a look at the words you use? Some words are more powerful than others. They mean more than just their definition. They convey deeper intentions that can have a profound impact on communication. Here are three simple words that most of us use many times a day that can lead to misunderstanding, resentment, morale problems, and other unintended consequences. For each of these words there is a better alternative that will improve your communication and build trust in relationships. 

What are these words? (more…)

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My Top Five Blog Posts of 2016

Happy New Year! I am so grateful to all my blog subscribers for reading what I post and sharing your comments. Many of my articles have been inspired by comments, questions, and stories you share.

In case you missed these, or want to read them again, here are the top five articles of 2016, based on traffic and interaction with these posts on our website.

#5 – Four Uncomfortable Truths About Feelings

Emotional intelligence is where it’s at. If you are on Twitter, search #StartAtOpen to see all the research, stories, and tips relating to the power of creating a safe emotional space for yourself and others.

#4 – When Personality Meets Communication

This article gained steam faster than any other one this year. It is fourth on the list and was only published in October. Thanks to all the PCM trainers and enthusiasts out there for sharing and liking it.

#3 – Neural Coupling, Brain Syncing And Communication

This article is not as technical as the title might imply, yet it’s full of cool science. I geek out when I realize that teaching people how to match perceptions and close channels literally helps re-wire the brain in more healthy ways. Yeah, we can change the world one person, one interaction, one neural pathway at a time!

#2 – Leadership And Manipulation: Donald Trump Case Study, Part 1

I picked on Trump quite a bit last year. This year my commitment is to be less critical of politicians, and more focused on using well-known figures as learning examples. There’s a second part to this one.

#1 – Six Personality-Based Reasons Why Trump Is Unfit To Be President

Far and away the most clicked and shared article of 2016. I wonder why? Will my predictions prove to be true? Who knows? He keeps surprising us every day. Regardless, there are some great tips in this article for understanding personality differences in and out of distress.

Thanks for letting me into your life! Looking forward to a fabulous 2017!

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2017

Join our community to receive weekly articles and tips.


CWC + Discussion Guide

Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive guide for balancing compassion and accountability to build relationships that are safe, curious, and consistent.

PodBeanButton Subscribe to Dr. Regier’s free podcast

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