Daniel Goleman has spent the last 30 years researching and developing the science of Emotional Intelligence, and is a friend of the Dalai Lama. Recently he was asked to write a book about the Dalai Lama’s compassionate approach to addressing the world’s most intractable problems. Due out in June 2020, Force for Good, is both an exploration of the science and the power of compassion and a call to action.
Einstein said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results.” I disagree.
Here’s what I believe.
Insanity is doing the same thing over and over knowing you’ll get the same results, but wishing for something different.
Humans are creatures of habit. We do the same things over and over because deep down we want the same results. We want things to be predictable because that doesn’t require us to take risks and be brave.
Yet we wish for more. We crave better relationships, more meaningful work, a purposeful life, inclusion, and the satisfaction of contributing. We can wish for something different, but until we adopt a new mindset and skills, we would be insane to expect anything different.
The answer to end the insanity is compassion. To be human is to have compassion.
Compassion is what connects us and gets us back on track when we lose our way. Compassion is the key to our survival. Compassion is how we make diversity our greatest strength.
Unfortunately, as humans we’ve developed some compassion habits that are holding us back, even though we wish for more and often have good intentions.
Five Misconceptions About Compassion
1. Compassion is all about empathy.
Wrong. Compassion is much more than a feeling. It’s also about creative problem-solving and accountability.
2. Compassion is a soft skill.
Wrong. Compassion is a life skill. It’s not for the faint of heart.
3. Compassion is just for self-less servant leaders.
Wrong. Compassion honors our own needs and boundaries too. Did you know that practicing compassion stimulates the reward centers of the brain?
4. Compassion is something that comes naturally; you either have it or you don’t.
Wrong. Compassion can be learned and doesn’t require a touchy-feely personality.
5. Compassion is about alleviating suffering.
Wrong. Compassion is about suffering alongside to enhance people’s value, capability, and responsibility. We are in this together.
Here’s our definition of compassion that corrects these five misconceptions.
Compassion is the practice of demonstrating that people are valuable, capable, and responsible in every interaction.
Compassion is a habit, a way of life that is cultivated daily and manifested through our behavior, in every interaction.
Because people are valuable, everyone deserves to be heard, affirmed, safe, invited, and included.
Because people are capable, everyone deserves the invitation to contribute, participate, take ownership, and be part of the solution.
Because people are responsible, everyone is accountable for their feelings, thoughts, and actions. Not just one of these, but all three. All the time. In every interaction. And it applies to you too.
How would you act differently if you believed that everyone, including you, was valuable, capable, and responsible?
Einstein also said this, “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
Change the way you look at compassion and your world will change.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2020
This content was originally published here.
Despite the domination of mega-retailers like Amazon and Walmart, Costco wholesale club is thriving. They’ve posted seven percent growth the past year, e-commerce is growing, and worker satisfaction is off the charts.
How do they do it? A smart, emotionally intelligent approach, says Justin Bariso, who studied Costco’s success and wrote about it in this article.
From pay raises, to flexible work hours, to paid parental leave, a people-centered culture is priority number one.
Giving customers what they want is Costco’s obsession. Whether it’s the carefully chosen but limited selection of just the most desired items, or their liberal return policy, keeping customers happy is what matters.
This isn’t rocket science. Yet it’s refreshing to see examples of successful large companies doing the right thing.
What is your secret to business success? Can you narrow it down to one or two things? I’d love to hear your answer.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2019
Optimism is not just seeing the glass as half full. It’s about doing what it takes to fill it up.
Optimism is not wishful thinking. Not even a hopeful attitude. Optimism is the discipline of envisioning and pursuing possibility, against the odds. Optimistic people are this way because they work at it. They don’t just see the glass as half full, they push through to keep filling it so that potential turns into reality. Optimism takes perseverance, grit, and belief in the power of a vision and of the people pursuing that vision. Optimism doesn’t give up when the going gets tough. Optimism never quits looking for opportunity, potential, the possibility everyone else missed, the faint light at the end of the tunnel.
Jon Gordon, an ambassador of positivity, wrote this about optimism.
Apologies to my readers; today’s post is for my special someone.
You captured my curiosity the first time I saw you.
You stirred my imagination the first time I talked with you.
You ignited my passion the first time you kissed me.
You changed everything when you said “I will.”
You made my life when you said, “I do.”
You make me a believer over and over as you raise three amazing daughters!
You blow my mind every day with your compassion, humor, dedication, love of people, and zest for life.
I admire you. I love you.
You are in every future memory I imagine. I want to explore so many new worlds with you.
I pledge myself to you again and again and again!
Happy Valentine’s Day to my life partner, Julie!
And to everyone else, find someone for whom you want to get up tomorrow and be your best self, and show them some love!
What’s your love story? Will you share it on this post?
Getting the right people on the bus might be overrated. According to new research from Google, the HOW is much more important than the WHAT when it comes to building effective teams.
Who is on the team matters less than how the team members interact, structure their work, and view their contributions.
- make a living off of fixing everybody else’s problems.
- have an attitude of superiority, as if they know what’s best for others.
- thrive on being the one with all the answers.
- adopt the belief that “I’m worthwhile, you’re worthwhile only if you take my advice and appreciate it.”
In French, the word “rescuer” is often translated as “savior.”
Rescuers are exceptionally attractive targets for promotion because they:
Disruptive technology is a game-changer because it changes the rules of the game.
Once in a while a new way of doing things comes along that doesn’t just improve things; it transforms them. Businesses are looking for disruptive technology and disruptive people, those who challenge the status quo, try new approaches, and re-write the rules of the game for breakthrough benefits.
When was the last time you encountered a Disruptive Behavioral Technology?
John Stumpf, former CEO of Wells Fargo, was fired for failing to stop some 5,000 employees from setting up phony accounts for customers. At his congressional hearing, Stumpf, a man who had risen to the top of the world’s most valuable bank, seemed utterly unable to read a room.
Oscar Munoz and his company, United Airlines, was publicly ridiculed for weeks following completely inadequate attempts at an apology for dragging a man off an overbooked plane. How could the CEO of the world’s third largest airline be so out of touch?
Why does president Trump seem to get more and more impulsive and misogynistic on Twitter the longer he is in power, even when his behavior directly undercuts the support he needs to be successful?
My two youngest daughters have a strategy to help them remember what’s most important. They write on their mirrors with dry erase markers. Sometimes they make a list of things to remember for the next day at school or what to pack for a trip. Sometimes it’s a quote or one-liner that boosts their spirit. My middle daughter, Emily, has some inspirational quotes written around the outside of her round mirror.
Writing on a mirror is how we talk to ourselves. We can only see what’s written when we see ourselves. What do you tell yourself when you look in the mirror? Are you proud of the messages you hear? Do they inspire you to be your best self? Do they boost your spirit?
Here are nine statements you could write on your mirror. Only some of them will apply to you and what you need today to be the best, most healthy version of yourself.