Is it reasonable to want a safe environment in which to live and work? Of course! Emotional, psychological, and physical safety are necessary if we want people to give their best and be transparent with us.
Don’t confuse safety with comfort, though. Safety isn’t always easy, especially during conflict.
It’s possible for me to be angry without threatening you.
I’m capable of asking more of you without undermining your dignity.
People can enforce boundaries without compromising safety.
When I disclose my pain you don’t have to take it on.
You can’t export your feelings to me. Neither can I export mine to you.
Conflict and accountability are hard, and scary, and sometimes painful. When you find yourself in this situation, here are a couple questions to ask yourself:
- Am I unsafe, or am I uncomfortable?
- Is this conflict about me as a person, or about my behavior? If it’s about behavior, then I am probably safe.
- How do my past experiences with conflict influence how I am interpreting this situation?
- Am I open to change my behaviors, attitudes, and beliefs? If not, then I probably see every conflict as a threat.
Compassionate Accountability is all about engaging in conflict while maintaining safety. It’s not easy. It’s possible. It means un-learning some bad habits. And the results are truly amazing!
Copyright 2017, Next Element Consulting, LLC