Process Communication Model

From Zero To Doctor In Nothing Flat

My mother in-law, who had suffered for about three years with frontal lobe dementia, passed away this week. Our family was blessed to have caring and thoughtful doctors, nurses, and technicians who helped us negotiate the final hours of her life with dignity and compassion. Throughout her illness I got to vicariously experience what it’s like to care for a loved one and negotiate the medical system under these circumstances.

My summary of the experience; a collection of dedicated and caring healthcare providers, each trying to deal with one part of complex problem, in a system that is disconnected and offers little in terms of coordinated relationships.

The problem cannot be blamed on any one person or organization fault. It’s about how interrelated systems of care work together. The good news is that progress is being made, right here in my community. I want to share an article from our archives originally posted on May 2, 2013. At the end, I’ve added a new piece, the national recognition that Via Christi received for their pioneering work in patient-centered care. (more…)

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How To Break Free From Four Common Failure Narratives: Part 2

In Part One of this article I introduced two of Kahler’s Failure Patterns, life narratives he discovered that undermine success and work against intimacy in relationships. Here are the other two.


AlwaysFailurePatternThis failure pattern promotes the narrative that no matter what happens, it’s always someone else’s fault. Imagine a child who’s procrastinated on tomorrow’s homework until bedtime and is now faced with a dilemma of her own making. Not wanting to take responsibility for the problem, she says, “If I stay up and do my homework now, then I will be so tired tomorrow. But if I go to bed now I’ll get a zero on my assignment. What am I supposed to do? This always happens to me.” (more…)

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Learn Six Languages And Dramatically Improve Your Memory In Fifteen Minutes

Have you ever been criticized for not paying attention or not remembering something important? Ever wished you could better understand what others are talking about? What if you could connect with different people so quickly that it’s like you’ve known them your whole life? You might be surprised to learn that the solution to better memory lies behind two unexpected strategies:

  1. To remember more of what people are communicating, pay LESS attention to the content of what they are saying and pay MORE attention to the language they are speaking.
  2. There are only six languages of communication which are universal around the world.

The good news; you can learn these six languages in just 10 minutes by reading this blog and watching a short video. (more…)

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Leaders, How Are You Handling Diversity On Your Team?

People are different. So what? Now what? One of a leader’s primary responsibilities is to somehow negotiate this diversity to deliver results. Team goals AND individual differences are both at play whenever a leader is leading his or her team. Here are three ways to deal with this balance. (more…)

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How Do Different Personalities Lead Through Crisis, And How Can You Help?

An article I wrote for Chief Executive magazine, titled How To Successfully Lead When Dealing With a Personal Crisis, sparked a lot of activity on social media. The article profiled three of the six Kahler Personality Types most likely to be in leadership positions, how they operate, how they misfire when under distress, and how they can get through crisis.

The biggest question I got about this article was, “What about the other three personality types?” You asked for it, so here is my analysis of the other three types based on Taibi Kahler’s groundbreaking discovery, the Process Communication Model (PCM®).


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Are You Response-ABLE or Response-IVE?

Are you the kind of person who holds tightly to a plan and conscientiously sees it through? Or are you the kind of person who adapts quickly and can turn on a dime?

Do you prefer playing offense in the game of life by researching a plan and executing it to the best of your ability? Or do you prefer playing defense, honing your agility and ability to read an opponent? (more…)

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How To Successfully Lead When Dealing With a Personal Crisis

For chief executives, workplace crises are a relatively common scenario that can be handled with the same calmness and clarity that earns CEOs their role. But what happens when the crisis occurs in an executive’s personal life, ultimChiefExecutiveCoverately impacting the business’s health and vitality? Our research shows that three of the six Kahler Personality types tend to rise to top leadership positions and also experience unique challenges when facing crisis.

Read the full article in Chief Executive Magazine.

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Beyond-Drama-Book-w_reflections-and-shadowBuy Nate’s book, Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires


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Two Essential Trust Questions: What Does It Mean To You?

I’ve trained and coached thousands of leaders and their teams, and one of the most common issues I deal with is broken trust among team members. I facilitate many conversations around what trust means to people and have discovered that it boils down to two key questions:

Can I count on you?

Am I safe with you?

“Can I count on you?” is all about accountability.

People who define trust this way care about follow-through, keeping promises, meeting deadlines, and telling it like it is. For them, trust is built when they can count on us to do what we say and finish what we start. Trust is eroded by failing to do these things. (more…)

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Do You See Me? No Strings Attached?

Do you see me?  Do you really “see” me?

Many people look but don’t see, glance with a blind eye, or cast looks that miss the mark. Human beings need to be “seen,” and this seeing takes many forms. This holiday season I’m particularly passionate about what it means to see someone for who they are as a person.

Research on personality differences and motivational needs has shown that about 30% of the North American population primarily desires to be recognized for who they are as a person – to know that “you like me for me.” Called Harmonizers, these people are compassionate, sensitive, and warm. They go to great lengths to create harmony and ensure people feel cared for an nurtured.

The holidays can be wonderful time for these people if they have opportunities to be with loved ones. It can be miserable if there’s strife and conflict in families or at work. So how can each of us show the Harmonizers in our life that we truly see them? (more…)

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