Process Communication Model

Being Honest vs. Being Open

Being honest is not the same as being open. Sometimes it’s just the opposite.

“The kitchen is a mess.” vs. “When I don’t feel productive at work, I need things to be clean at home to feel in control.”

“You aren’t measuring up.” vs. “I’m afraid that I’m not perfectly fulfilling my obligations to protect others.”

“This is boring.” vs. “I’m anxious about taking responsibility for my own state of engagement.”

“It’s my fault.” vs. “I’m angry about how you are treating me.”

“I’m lost and don’t know what to do.” vs. “I need direction. Will you help me clarify what’s next?”

“You can’t handle the truth.” vs. “I am feeling exposed.”

Honesty is much less vulnerable then openness. Openness, more than honesty, builds trust. Openness is more authentic than honesty.

Honesty is often used as a defense mechanism to keep a safe distance. Openness rolls down the window between people. 

If you are honest with yourself, you’ll find that one or two of these six comparisons hits close to home. If you are open, you might share it with someone.


Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2018. All Rights Reserved.

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Six Bad Habits You Can Repurpose For Good in 2018: Part One

Have you made any new year’s resolutions to kick an unhealthy habit and set a new course? What if your worst bad habits were linked to your personality? Good luck with that!

It could actually be a blessing in disguise. The bad news is that most of us have some pretty enduring bad habits that have been with us since an early age, closely tied to our personalities. For example, my personality is highly tuned to focus on tasks and excitement. I’m fun to be around and I get stuff done. My bad habit is I’m a terrible listener. I focus much more on my own agendas than the people around me, so I miss stuff.

The good news is that behind every bad habit are some awesome character strengths that can be leveraged for good. (more…)

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Types IN People, Not Types OF People

Process Communication is about types in people, not types of people.

The Process Communication Model (PCM) is an internationally acclaimed, highly reliable, behaviorally based communication model. From NASA to Pixar animation studios, a past president to business leaders on all five continents speaking 30 different languages, PCM has been used to individually tailor connection and motivation and build trust and rapport.

PCM identifies distinct personality types, each with their own character strengths, preferred modes of communicating and interacting, unique motivational needs, and predictable self-sabotage behaviors. All six are in each of us.

One of the unique features of PCM is that it shows how every one of us has all six of these types in us in a preferred order, much like the floors of a building. Our personality “condominium” can be arranged in any one of 720 different combinations (six factorial for the mathematicians). The PCM assessment generates a valid and reliable communication profile showing the order and relative strength of each floor. PCM training teaches people about their own structure, how to navigate their own personality for maximum effectiveness, and how to communicate with every other type. It’s the ultimate decoder ring! (more…)

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Beware of Hiring Responsible and Dedicated People

What qualities do you look for in and applicant? Which of these are attractive to you?

  • Self starter
  • Takes initiative
  • Responsible
  • Organized
  • Dependable
  • Dedicated
  • Conscientious
  • Persistent
  • Attention to quality and detail

These are the upsides of two Personality Types most likely to be promoted to leadership positions (Thinkers and Persisters). They are promoted because of these very qualities. They are hard workers, care about quality and are task oriented. They want things done right. And they are proud of it.

The downsides: When these same people are in distress, it’s a whole different story. (more…)

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How To Lead When Dealing With A Personal Crisis

You can’t plan for major crises, like a family member’s cancer diagnosis, a personal lawsuit, or your fiancé calling off the wedding, but there are steps you can take to help ease the coping process when crisis hits.

How a person handles crisis largely depends on his or her personality. Three of the six Kahler Personality Types tend to be more common among top leadership: (more…)

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The Six Faces Of Trust: How To Improve Your Odds

Are you trustworthy?

Do you hold others to the same standard of trust that you hold for yourself? 

If you assume that everyone defines trust the same way, you are rolling the dice and your odds are pretty low.

Trust is experienced uniquely by different personality types. This has implications for how we interact with others, communicate, set up meetings, make decisions, manage our professional reputation, and how we set up our learning and work environments. (more…)

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What’s Your Trust Question?

Ask one hundred people their definition of trust and you’ll get one hundred different answers. Our research and experience working with thousands of leaders is that trust has two important aspects; safety and accountability.

Some people equate trust with safety first, asking the question “Am I safe with you?”

Trust goes up when they are comfortable and confident that you will accept them the way they are, avoid judgment, and be supportive. Trust goes down when communication is impersonal, when they feel judged, or if you break their confidence around sensitive personal information. (more…)

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How To Lead Donald Trump: Part 1, Understanding Promoter Distress

Everyone is trying to figure out President Trump. A group of Psychologists even has gone public with its diagnosis.

My assessment is that Trump is not mentally ill, not even crazy. He is in distress. He’s been in distress for quite some time, probably on and off for his whole life, and more often than not since he started campaigning for president. And it seems to be getting worse. This has been cause for concern from many of his supporters. Increasingly, those working closely with him are struggling to find positive ways to contain his behavior and help him lead effectively.

Regardless of where you stand politically, it’s critical that we find healthy ways to positively motivate our President. We need strong, positive leadership in an increasingly chaotic and polarized world.

Many people think Trump is unpredictable and chaotic. Nothing could be further from the truth…if you know what to look for.

(more…)

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Stop Trying To Control Negative Attention Behavior: The Second Disruptive Behavioral Technology

This is part two in my three-part series on disruptive behavioral technologies that will dramatically improve relationships and results.

Most negative behavior is a symptom of an unmet positive need. Here’s the logic; if people don’t get their needs met positively, they will attempt to get those very same needs met negatively, with or without awareness. To learn more about this, read my series covering the six most common patterns of negative behavior and the unmet positive need. (more…)

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