transformative communication

Leaders Embrace Choices AND Consequences

“You’ve left me no choice but to fire you.”

“I don’t have any other choices. What am I supposed to do?”

Have you ever felt, thought or said something like this? If so, consider the life of Victor Frankl, Jewish prisoner of war who spent three years in Nazi concentration camps between 1942-1945 and later went on to do pioneering work in Logotherapy and Existential Analysis. (more…)

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Greece and The Drama Triangle

Greece is drowning. Tsipras is under fire. Creditors can’t agree on what to do.

There are three unhelpful options being thrown around representing the three roles in the Drama Triangle.

Play the Victim Role, accept the inevitable, roll over and take it. “I don’t know what to do.”

Play the Persecutor Role and cut Greece off. “They made their bed, now they can lay in it.”

Play the Rescuer Role and save them again. “OK, just this one more time, but you owe me big.”

There are also compassionate accountability options. These involve a balance of care and concern, collaborative problem-solving, and clear boundaries for new, more responsible behaviors. What current solutions fit these criteria? What countries are choosing compassionate accountability with Greece?


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Connect with Nate on LinkedIn

Buy Nate’s book, Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires

Visit Nate’s Speaker Page, or contact us about booking Dr. Regier for a speaking engagement.

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Will you help us write our next book?

Our first book

Beyond-Drama-Book-w_reflections-and-shadowPublishing our first book, Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires, was a life-changing experience. The hardest thing I’ve ever done, and one of the most rewarding projects of my career. Since it’s release in 2013, Beyond Drama has been sold internationally and become a staple in our coaching, training, and advising relationships. It’s packed with tips and tools for understanding and responding to personal and professional drama. In this book we introduced our concept of compassionate accountability and suggested that positive conflict can be a force for good. Watch video. 

 Since then..

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Three Qualities of Compassionate Accountability Cultures

Caring supports safety, openness, and transparency. In a caring environment people will more likely put their best selves forward. We are more likely to learn about the real agendas and real problems in a safe environment. Caring sets the stage for curiosity.

Curiosity supports resourcefulness, creative problem-solving and innovation. Curiosity means having a genuine interest in finding the best solutions, nurturing unique gifts, and leveraging diversity. Curiosity is about leaving ego at the door. Curiosity paves the way for consistency.

Consistency means finishing what you start, making good on promises, walking the walk and demonstrating character. People need to know what to expect and what core principles are not going to change over time. Consistency breeds perseverance.

Compassion without accountability gets you nowhere. Accountability without compassion gets you alienated. Blending the two with Caring, Curiosity, and Consistency builds great cultures.


Like Next Element on Facebook

Follow @NextNate on Twitter

Connect with Nate on LinkedIn

Buy Nate’s book, Beyond Drama: Transcending Energy Vampires

Visit Nate’s Speaker Page, or contact us about booking Dr. Regier for a speaking engagement.

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Two Questions Every Leader Must Answer To Build Trust

As a communication and positive conflict advisor to leaders, one of the most common issues I deal with is broken trust among team members. I facilitate many conversations around what trust means to people and have discovered that it boils down to two key questions:

Can I count on you?

Am I safe with you?

“Can I count on you?” is all about accountability. People who define trust this way care about follow-through, keeping promises, meeting deadlines, and telling it like it is. For them, trust is built when they can count on us to do what we say and finish what we start. Trust is eroded by failing to do these things. (more…)

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Pixar’s Secret Weapon all Leaders Should Know About

Pixar Studios has created some of the biggest blockbuster animated motion pictures in history. From The Incredibles, to Nemo, to Cars, their movies resonate with all ages and keep us coming back for more.

Pixar has a secret weapon. They use a language-based personality and communication model called Process Communication to help design their characters and storylines. (more…)

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Leadership Quotient: Can it be measured?

What if you could assess a person’s Leadership Quotient and predict how they will function in a range of leadership situations? What would you assess? How would you measure it?

At Next Element we’ve been working on this for nearly a decade. And we’ve discovered some answers. In our quest we’ve avoided any hard content measures of leadership (e.g. credentials, experience, degrees, promotions, successful projects). Not that these aren’t important – they most definitely are. We leave this for the industry experts. Our big question is what process factors underly all successful leadership, regardless of industry, position, or technical expertise?

Along with our experience assessing and training hundreds of leaders, we’ve studied Emotional Intelligence, Social Intelligence, Multiple Intelligences, top leadership competencies desired by C-level executives, and leadership skills most associated with success. We’ve distilled it down to these four process skills that make up leadership quotient. (more…)

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Three Essential Strategies for Maximizing In-Person Meetings

The Centre for Economics and Business reports that the average office worker sits in meetings about four hours a week and feels the majority of that time is wasted. There are lots of reasons for this, and it boils down to two key realities.

Compassion without accountability gets you nowhere: If meetings are only about catching up, connecting, and seeing people, you aren’t advancing key priorities.

Accountability without compassion gets you alienated. If meetings are purely task-focused, only about what hasn’t been accomplished, or a place to rant about goals, then you aren’t tending to relationships. (more…)

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All Problems Are Emotional Problems

As a leader have you ever felt frustrated because you can’t seem to get to the root of the problem? Regardless of what solution is proposed there is some form of resistance. It’s like a moving target.

Most problem-solving efforts are doomed to fail because the real issue – an emotional issue – is never disclosed. People are motivated to reduce uncomfortable and negative emotions, and will go to great lengths to do so. However, if they are unaware or unwilling to disclose these emotions, problem-solving will go around and around without resolution. (more…)

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