Rescuing

Imposing Your Solution vs. Living Into The Answer

Recently I was conducting a Leading Out of Drama Provider Certification and we were reviewing one of the Choices To Move, “Let Go and Move On,” a skill for practicing Compassionate Accountability and moving from Resourcefulness to Persistence on the Compassion Cycle. A participant was explaining the concept in his own words and shared this;

Those who can’t let go and move on often choose to teach others instead.

He didn’t mean it as an indictment of educators, but his comment underscored a powerful dynamic of drama, the urge to give unsolicited advice to make others better instead of focusing on our own decisions and consequences. (more…)

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How To Promote For Resourcefulness And Avoid The Peter Principle

Rescuers:

  • make a living off of fixing everybody else’s problems.
  • have an attitude of superiority, as if they know what’s best for others.
  • thrive on being the one with all the answers.
  • adopt the belief that “I’m worthwhile, you’re worthwhile only if you take my advice and appreciate it.”

In French, the word “rescuer” is often translated as “savior.”

Rescuers are exceptionally attractive targets for promotion because they:

(more…)

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Non-Consensual Helping

There should be a law against nonconsensual helping. Helping someone without their consent is a violation of their free choice, dignity, and self-determination. Here is what perpetrators of non-consensual helping say;

You know you’ll like it.

You need me.

You’ll thank me later.

You say no, but I know you mean yes.

Just trust me.

There should be some exceptions, like when someone’s health or safety are in imminent danger, or when they are temporarily unable to consent for some reason. In these situations it should be OK to help them. But as soon as the exception has passed, consent should again be required. (more…)

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