Have you struggled to have compassionate conversations about Covid? Are you torn between what you think/feel/believe is the right thing to do, and the nuances of a particular situation? Have you tried to have a conversation and it only made things worse? Or, did you stay silent when you really should have spoken up? Have these conversations strained relationships? (more…)
Select which questions from this list are most important for you. At the end of the day…
- Have I used my time productively?
- Have I accomplished important things?
- Have I learned something useful?
- Have I helped others become more capable?
- Have I made a positive difference?
- Have I advanced my values?
- Have I acted with integrity?
- Have I earned respect without instilling fear?
- Have I nurtured relationships that I care about?
- Have I taken care of me?
- Have I asked for what I want?
- Have I maintained my personal boundaries?
- Did we have fun?
- Did I make any new connections?
- Did I discover something new and interesting?
- Did I find a creative solution to a problem?
- Did I take the time and space I needed to recharge?
- Did I take time to imagine the possibilities?
- Did I make the decisions required for my role?
- Did I ask for direction when I needed it?
- Have I done something exciting?
- Did we seize opportunity?
- Did I challenge myself?
- Did I use my special skills to help others rise to the occasion?
From the questions you selected as important for you, identify the ones for which you can say YES on a daily basis. Describe how you get to YES.
If you did not answer YES to any of your important questions, describe what’s getting in your way.
What will you do tomorrow to turn the NO answers into YES answers? What help will you ask for from others?
Interview someone else about steps 1-4.
The foundation for leadership is arranging to get your psychological needs met every day in healthy ways. This way you can show up positive and productive and help others do the same.
At the end of the day, people who find the YES to their questions are happier and healthier. Teams who help each other find their YES are more engaged and productive.
Learn the science behind these questions in my new book, Seeing People Through: Unleash Your Leadership Potential with The Process Communication Model.
Is it okay to be motivated differently towards the same goal?
Is it okay to do the right thing for different reasons?
Passion means you are motivated by your values.
“I am passionate about foster parenting because I believe every child deserves a stable household and a positive role-model.”
Caring means you are motivated by compassion for people.
“I care about foster parenting because children need the love and support of family.”
Loving means you are motivated by the novelty and enjoyment of it all.
“I love foster parenting because it’s so cool to have a new person around the house!”
Have you ever judged someone because they didn’t “care enough” like you, or weren’t “passionate enough” like you? How did that turn out?
Beware not to confuse passion, caring, and loving. They all can inspire the behavior we want, but for different reasons.
Motivation depends on the person, not the goal.
That’s what Seeing People Through is all about. Get yours today.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2020
Here are seven timeless leadership principles that were real before Covid-19, but certainly have been revealed more clearly during this crisis. Embracing them makes you a better leader (and more happy in general).
Control is an illusion
The more you try, the less efficient you get. (more…)
With the Coronavirus outbreak, the world is on high alert. People are anxious and afraid. It’s difficult to separate fact from fear and plain talk from politics. Drama is at an all-time high.
The real impact of this crisis on you your business depends on many factors that we can’t control. But the big question is whether our response will make us part of the problem or part of the solution.
Your response to crisis either makes you part of the problem, or part of the solution.
Here are three drama-based responses to uncertainty and crisis that only make things worse, and compassionate alternatives that help you be part of the solution.
Do you shut down, believing you are helpless and avoid reality because you don’t want to face your feelings of anxiety or fear? This type of drama only magnifies irrational paranoia.
- Get vulnerable with your own feelings. Let others know you are human too.
- Empathize with others. People want to know they aren’t alone.
- Validate other people’s feelings. People want to know it’s safe to talk about it.
Giving Unsolicited Advice
Do you swoop in trying to help everyone and masquerade as the expert? Do you feel more in control when you have advice and answers? This type of drama only creates resentment because it invites others to feel even less in control of their own destiny.
- Get curious and ask permission before you offer help or information. People want to be included.
- Ask people for ideas on creative solutions. People want to feel involved.
- Leverage current opportunities and assets to adapt with purpose. People want to feel empowered.
Do broad generalizations, threats, and black or white statements help you feel powerful? When you blame and attack everyone else, do you feel more confident? Sadly, this type of drama only pushes people away, the very people whom you need most to find a way through the crisis.
- Clarity the most important priorities, such as relationships, commitments, and safety. People want to know what to expect.
- Focus on what you can control, especially your integrity and trustworthiness. People want to know they can count on you.
- Apologize and make it right when you make a mistake or realize you need to adjust course. People want to know you will take responsibility.
By using compassion, humanity can overcome the negative pull of drama and rise to our best selves, especially in times of uncertainty and crisis.
Want help applying our compassion template to your crisis communication strategy? Call us for a free 30 minute consultation. +1 316 283 4200, email firstname.lastname@example.org
Next Element offers Virtual Training for Leading Out of Drama and implementing The Compassion Mindset. In just a couple of hours and without leaving their offices, your leaders can get training on new communication, compassion and constructive conflict tools.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2020
A relative of mine who is a teacher went all year without hearing any affirmation from her boss. At the end of the year she asked her supervisor if she had done anything positive. “Sure, lots,” was the response. Why did the boss withhold this information all year? (more…)
Top 10 Fake News Stories of 2019
The drama mavens would prefer that you to believe these fake narratives because they keep you small and afraid and willing to accept anything.
- Overnight success is just a click away
- Power builds safety
- Difference is the enemy
- There’s not enough to go around
- My beliefs are better
- Vulnerability is weak
- Life is a competition
- You don’t need anyone else
- Other people can make you feel good or bad
- A better phone camera will make you more popular
The Struggle Is Real
Struggle is not a bad thing. Conflict is not something to be avoided or used as a weapon. Diversity is not the enemy. Life isn’t supposed to be easy and fit into neat categories.
Compassion Headlines You Can Believe
Compassion is the practice of demonstrating that people are valuable, capable, and responsible. Compassion fosters connection, innovation, and purpose. Here are some news stories you can believe.
- There’s a positive purpose for diversity
- Conflict is natural and produces energy
- The purpose of conflict is to create, not destroy
- Connection, not division, is the key to our strength and survival
- Vulnerability requires courage and builds trust
- Leadership is about leveraging diverse gifts towards shared goals
- There is plenty to go around when you adopt an abundance mindset
- There are no shortcuts
- You are 100% responsible for your feelings, thoughts, and behaviors
- A better phone camera will reveal more of your imperfections
What if you embraced these true compassion stories for 2020. How could your life and your relationships change? How much better could you become as a leader?
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2019
With The Compassion Mindset Course you can stop the drain of negative workplace interactions turn that energy into greater connection, engagement, and productivity.
This year I launched my new podcast, OnCompassion with Dr. Nate. Learning leadership lessons from my guests has been so rewarding.
At the end of each episode I consolidate and share my top three takeaways. Here are several leadership lessons I thought were particularly rich.
The Action Is In The Interaction – Doug Conant
Leaders have 200-400 interactions per day of less than 2-min. Your legacy as a leader will be dependent on how you handle those interactions. Life is too fragmented and dynamic to rely on traditional approaches to communication – tomorrow’s leaders have to be fluid in the small moments.
Compassion Requires Boundaries – Laura Cole
Laura’s horse, Watson, has a habit of nibbling shirts. Yet successful executives at the top of their game allow him to bite holes in their shirts because they don’t want to be mean or don’t know how to stop it. Lack of boundaries isn’t nice. It deprives others of a more healthy way to interact with us and form a meaningful relationship. And, it invites us to form negative opinions of others who seem to disrespect our wants and needs.
Vulnerability Is A Secret Weapon – Jody Horner
With help from an executive coach, coupled with her desire to make more meaningful, positive connections with people, Jody went from believing that she needed to make sure there were no chinks in her armor – being professional to a fault – to showing more of her real self at work. What she experienced was that her credibility as a leader went through the roof.
Will you help me raise awareness of OnCompassion With Dr. Nate? Subscribe, rate on iTunes, and share with your tribe. New episodes will launch every month. Thanks for your help!
Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2019
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