Leadership Development

How To Lead Donald Trump: Part 2, Helping Promoters Succeed

In part one of this two-part series, I argued that President Trump is not crazy or even mentally ill. He’s in distress. I demonstrated the highly predictable nature of his behavior and personality through the lens of the Process Communication Model® (PCM), a powerful behavioral communication framework that has helped improve communication and leadership for NASA, a former president, and Pixar studios, just to name a few.

Recognizing the positive traits, motivational needs, and predictable distress behavior is the first step in crafting a more effective leadership strategy. Step two is adapting how we communicate with each personality type in order to positively motivate them and reduce the unhealthy distress behavior.

As I described in part one, it is evident that the Promoter personality type is most prominent in Trump.

He will get get excitement and thrills and attention. If he doesn’t get it positively by winning for the good of America, he will get it negatively through creating negative drama.

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Three Disruptive Behavioral Technologies That Will Dramatically Improve Relationships and Results

Disruptive technology is a game-changer because it changes the rules of the game.

Once in a while a new way of doing things comes along that doesn’t just improve things; it transforms them. Businesses are looking for disruptive technology and disruptive people, those who challenge the status quo, try new approaches, and re-write the rules of the game for breakthrough benefits.

When was the last time you encountered a Disruptive Behavioral Technology?  (more…)

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Power Causes Brain Damage. Beware Of The Hubris Syndrome.

John Stumpf, former CEO of Wells Fargo, was fired for failing to stop some 5,000 employees from setting up phony accounts for customers. At his congressional hearing, Stumpf, a man who had risen to the top of the world’s most valuable bank, seemed utterly unable to read a room.

Oscar Munoz and his company, United Airlines, was publicly ridiculed for weeks following completely inadequate attempts at an apology for dragging a man off an overbooked plane. How could the CEO of the world’s third largest airline be so out of touch?

Why does president Trump seem to get more and more impulsive and misogynistic on Twitter the longer he is in power, even when his behavior directly undercuts the support he needs to be successful?
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Five Most Popular Episodes On Nate’s Podcast

About a year ago I decided to start making podcasts as another way to share content that my readers and our clients were finding valuable. I made a few myself, and then began interviewing other thought-leaders about their perspective on leadership, communication, and healthy relationships. It’s been a wonderfully rewarding process and I look forward to continuing this.

In case you haven’t been following my podcast and want to give it a try, I’ve compiled a list of the five post popular episodes over the last year. Enjoy!

What is Compassionate Accountability?

In this interview I discuss the concept of Compassionate Accountability and how it can be used to improve relationships at work and home. Learn the difference between negative conflict (Drama) and positive conflict (Compassion), discover how positive conflict can be used to create amazing outcomes, and hear powerful case examples of these concepts in action.

Conflict Without Casualties Book Author Interview

I shares why I wrote the book, my relationship with the authors who have endorsed it, what’s unique about this book within the leadership field, and how it relates to Next Element’s Leading Out of Drama training and coaching system.

Leading Out of Drama

What does it mean to lead out of drama? I talk about the nature of conflict, how drama happens, and how everyone of us can make a choice to lead out of drama into Compassionate Accountability. What does drama cost organizations and individuals, and how can the concepts of Compassionate Accountability be put to work to make a difference in your life? Find answers to these questions and many more in this episode.

The Power of Questions: With Marshall Goldsmith

I interview Marshall Goldsmith, world renowned business educator and coach, on the power of questions. Marshall shares his wisdom around these topics:

  • What’s the difference between active and passive questions?
  • What are the Six Engaging Questions to start every day?
  • What are the top three questions we should ask ourselves when facing leadership challenges?
  • What are the most important things to focus on each day?

Making Better Apologies

Why do so many apologies fall flat? What makes a great apology. Using personal, real-life examples I outline a four-step process for making great apologies that balance compassion with accountability.
Copyright Next Element Consulting, 2017
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Cross-Cultural Communication With Different Personalities

Recently, I was interviewed by Melissa Lamson for an article in Inc. Magazine about how to deal with difficult personalities, particularly when there’s overlap between cross-cultural contexts and personality. I grew up in Africa as the son of missionary parents, spending a great deal of time experiencing and exploring cross-cultural communication. More recently I’ve specialized in the Process Communication Model (PCM) a global communication model that’s being taught in more than 30 countries around the world. When I teach master classes in my role as a PCM Certifying Master Trainer, and at international PCM trainer conferences, I get to compare notes on how personality and communication interface with culture. (more…)

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Solve Analysis Paralysis By Grieving These Three Losses

I love buffets, any kind. I’ve never met a buffet I didn’t exploit. I used to think it was because I loved food so much. I grew up in several countries and have developed an expansive palette. So I reasoned that I liked buffets because I just like to try lots of different foods.

Recently I’ve discovered that my attraction to buffets may go a little deeper. The truth is, I don’t like to choose among options. I have a very difficult time ordering off a menu. I can’t decide what I want. I check with others to see if we could “share a couple things” so I can try more than one menu item. I look for the combo plate. If the restaurant doesn’t have one, I often attempt to customize the options to get greater choice. Sometimes I just order several appetizers. My last resort tactic is to ask the server to surprise me and choose something for me. This way I can avoid responsibility for my choice.

This habit wreaks havoc on my waistline. And I think it all stems from my difficulty letting go and moving on. I worry that the other person’s food might end up tasting better than mine and then I would be disappointed. I worry that the option I don’t choose might have been the better one. It’s crazy-making!

Avoiding the choice to take action, let go, and move on costs companies billions of dollars a year in the form of lost opportunities, resources wasted in predictive analyses, and bringing in more consultants whose recommendations are never implemented. How is it that people, teams, and organizations can put so much into planning, learning, and organizing yet avoid taking the leap to implementation? We’ve discovered several reasons, and they all lead back to losses that must be authentically experienced to move forward.

Here’s the crux; loss is an emotional issue. It cannot be solved with logic.

Loss of Control

Once I take action, I’ve lost some control over what might happen. If I keep thinking, I don’t have to experience the unknown that accompanies doing. If I keep talking, I can avoid finding out how someone will react to what I’ve shared. If I keep analyzing, I can avoid the loss of control over what happens next. Loss of control is scary and pushes many people and organizations to turn around, re-group, or simply skip Persistence altogether. Do you fear the loss of control that often comes with making a decision?

Loss of Options

Once I choose the turkey breast, I’ve lost the option of nachos. Once we transition to InfusionSoft as our Customer Relationship Management tool, we’ve lost the option of using MailChimp. Once I agree to the price of this car, I’ve lost the option to negotiate a lower price. The loss of “what could have been” keeps many people up at night. Regrets and second-guessing is an energy vampire that keeps us from letting go and moving on.

One year during the Christmas holiday, my oldest daughter needed to make a decision about a summer youth mission trip. The reservations needed to be made and deposits submitted six months in advance. The mission trip conflicted with church camp. The pros and cons were clear. She had everything she needed to make the decision. And she couldn’t. I found her curled up in a ball in her bed, sobbing. I asked her what was wrong. She explained, “If I do the mission trip then I will miss church camp. If I go to camp I’ll miss the mission trip. I can’t decide.”

Do you struggle with the loss of options that will disappear if you make a choice? The only way through is to grieve.

Loss of Certainty

Moving from planning to doing makes it real. It opens up a host of unknown variables. Anything could happen. This uncertainty is frightening. I remember the first time I jumped off the high-diving board at the neighborhood pool. I stood there for what seemed like hours, staring down at the water a million miles away. My friends yelled, taunted, and reassured me. The kids behind me got impatient. I climbed back down the ladder several times, too scared to take the plunge. I re-assessed the situation, asked others about their experience, practiced “slapping my feet” against the water to simulate the impact I might experience. None of it helped. There came a point where nothing else I did could take the fear away. Nothing else could close the gap that remained between what I knew and where I needed to go. I didn’t jump that day.

Here’s the crux; loss is an emotional issue. It cannot be solved with logic. Only authentically experiencing the grief of loss will take you to the next level.

How can leaders apply this in real life?

  • Don’t avoid feelings. Give permission to share emotions about the road not taken or the choice not made. It’s OK to be sad. This is an important step in moving forward.
  • Accept consequences and the emotions that go with them. Rather than reminisce about what could have been, accept the responsibility for the choice you made by grieving the choice loss associated with the alternatives.
  • Play the tape all the way to the end. Play out the scenario associated with each choice option. Have intentional conversations about the control, options, and opportunity lost by the choice you are making. Grieve this loss before moving on.
  • Don’t confuse “moving on” with “letting go.” You can coerce someone to move on. A majority vote, intimidation, or guilt will accomplish that. But you can’t force someone to let go. This is an emotional thing that can only be resolved in a safe and accepting environment.

Here are some examples of grieving loss in order to avoid analysis paralysis.

“I will choose to switch IT providers because I know we need more capacity. I realize that the learning curve will be steep and this will be very hard work. I am sad to lose the relationship and dependability we had with our old provider.”

“I am going to let Gary go. I accept the consequences of waiting so long to make the decision. I feel badly about the time and opportunity we lost by delaying an inevitable outcome.”

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2017

Conflict-Without-Casualties_3dThis article was taken from Nate Regier’s new book Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. Get your copy today.

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Daily Disciplines Are The Baby Steps To Breakthrough Success

“Every master was once a beginner. Every pro started as an amateur. Every icon began as an unknown.” – Robin Sharma

Lately I’ve been reflecting on the power of daily disciplines, those little habits that seem insignificant in the big scheme of things, but they piece together to create respectable bodies of work or even breakthrough success. For example;

  • It took us seven years of concerted effort to achieve a brand that was nationally recognized.
  • The blog articles you read now are a culmination of five years and hundreds of attempts to write something meaningful, useful, and a little bit better than the last one.
  • The compelling training experiences our clients enjoy today were preceded by thousands of preparation routines, feeling inadequate answering tough questions, fine-tuning how a concept is presented, and entering the ring another time.
  • Our intuitive Leading Out of Drama curriculum evolved from eight years of daily practice making concepts come alive through in conversations, worksheets, homework assignments, and sales presentations.
  • The Compassion Cycle model emerged from a commitment to daily conversations, hypothesis-testing, research, and pure trial and error that took almost five years.
  • Our social media strategy has evolved over six years, 15 minutes every day, researching, posting, learning, watching, and experimenting.

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Tackling Workplace Conflict: Research And Best Practices To Stop The Drama

On average, employees around the world spend about 2.1 hours per week, or over one day per month, dealing with workplace conflict in some way. In the US, that number is higher (2.8 hrs/week) equating to approximately $359 billion in paid hours. Non-profit sectors experience the most workplace conflict, with nearly 48% of employees reporting conflict at work.

What is the actual prevalence of conflict in the workplace, what causes it, and what opportunities are there for positive changes? To answer this, I’ve studied the most comprehensive workplace conflict research I could find, a 2008 study commissioned by CPP Inc., one of Europe’s leading business psychology firms, and Fellipelli, one of South America’s leading business psychology firms. The study included survey data from 5000 employees at all levels of their companies in nine countries around Europe and the Americas and remains some of the most comprehensive and useful research available. Here’s a summary. (more…)

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The Map Is Not The Terrain

Have you ever gotten lost while following your SatNav GPS?

I bet you were so intent on the turn by turn navigation and watching the map that you missed valuable street signs, landmarks, and other signals that would have let you know you were off course.

Here are some models that sent a lot of people and resources down the wrong path. Did you know;

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Kicking Leadership’s Gluteus Maximus

I’m proud to be on the launch team for Bill Treasurer’s new book, A Leadership Kick In The Ass. Here’s an overview of the book, written by Bill.

Leading other people, for a host of reasons that we’ll explore, is really, really hard. Indeed, the sheer glut of leadership books may be the best evidence of how hard leadership truly is. If it were easy, budding leaders wouldn’t be so thirsty for leadership advice. Rather than try to glamorize the topic, I intend to strip it down so you can have a more grounded, authentic, and reality-based view of what it takes to lead. Unlike other leadership books you may have read, my new book, A Leadership Kick in the Ass, proposes that:

  • leadership is easier to get wrong than to get right;
  • leaders are often their own worst enemies and often get in their own way;
  • the most enduring and transformative leadership lessons come from humiliating leadership
  • experiences well-navigated;
  • not everyone is cut out to lead (but everyone can grow in their leadership influence);
  • to be most effective, leaders need both confidence and humility;
  • deficiencies in either cause poor or damaging leadership.

A good ass-kick can provoke a great comeback. Sprinkled throughout the book are stories about people who succeeded, not in spite of their kicks, but because of them. Heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson famously once said, “Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

By definition, a swift kick in the ass is painful. Essential as they are to the leadership maturation process, the learning starts after you pick yourself up off the mat. A leadership kick in the tuckus can be the moment where everything changes for you as a leader. But these moments can also be the starting point where you assess your strengths, clarify your values, and develop an authentic and true leadership voice and style.

Above all, benefiting from A Leadership Kick in the Ass requires choosing adaptability over obstinacy. It means assuming responsibility for your own actions and the consequences they bring. It involves having the courage to soberly acknowledge the leader you are today while you diligently work to be a better leader tomorrow.

The only way to bring out the best in those you’re leading is to lead with the best of yourself.

******

Since 1991 Bill has conducted over 500 corporate workshops designed to strengthen people’s leadership skills, improve team performance, accelerate innovation, and help executives behave more courageously. Among his clients are Accenture, Saks Fifth Avenue, UBS Bank, SPANX, Walsh Construction, Hugo Boss, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), the U.S. Forest Service, the National Science Foundation, and the U.S. Veteran’s Administration. Bill’s insights about courage and risk-taking have been featured in over 100 newspapers and magazines, including the Washington Post, NY Daily News, Chicago Tribune, Atlanta Journal Constitution, Boston Herald, Woman’s Day, Redbook, Fitness, and The Harvard Management Update. His latest book, A Leadership Kick in the Ass, will be released on January 16, 2017. You can find out more about Bill at www.billtreasurer.com and http://giantleapconsulting.com.

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