Being honest is not the same as being open. Sometimes it’s just the opposite.
“The kitchen is a mess.” vs. “When I don’t feel productive at work, I need things to be clean at home to feel in control.”
“You aren’t measuring up.” vs. “I’m afraid that I’m not perfectly fulfilling my obligations to protect others.”
“This is boring.” vs. “I’m anxious about taking responsibility for my own state of engagement.”
“It’s my fault.” vs. “I’m angry about how you are treating me.”
“I’m lost and don’t know what to do.” vs. “I need direction. Will you help me clarify what’s next?”
“You can’t handle the truth.” vs. “I am feeling exposed.”
Honesty is much less vulnerable then openness. Openness, more than honesty, builds trust. Openness is more authentic than honesty.
Honesty is often used as a defense mechanism to keep a safe distance. Openness rolls down the window between people.
If you are honest with yourself, you’ll find that one or two of these six comparisons hits close to home. If you are open, you might share it with someone.