Conflict Without Casualties

Too Little Compassion Might Be Causing Your Fatigue

Are you tired of helping? Are you weary of carrying everyone’s burdens, being the go-to person in the office, and shouldering so much. Are you suffering from compassion fatigue?

The reason for your fatigue may lie in a misunderstanding of compassion.

  • If you are trying to help someone who doesn’t need or want your help, you aren’t practicing compassion.
  • If you are helping others in a way that creates dependence, you aren’t practicing compassion.
  • If you insert yourself to help and then get rejected or wonder why they aren’t grateful, you aren’t practicing compassion.
  • If you are putting out fires instead of addressing underling causes, you aren’t practicing compassion.

These types of helping will lead to rejection, fatigue, or frustration. It’s not the good kind of tired, like when you know you’ve made a positive and lasting difference in someone’s life.

Compassion comes from the Latin root meaning, “To suffer with.” If you are struggling instead of or in place of another person, you aren’t practicing compassion.

  • Real compassion builds confidence and competence, not dependence.
  • Real compassion lifts people up without putting someone’s dignity at risk.
  • Real compassion holds people accountable, doesn’t cover for them.

The Compassion Cycle shows the three compassion skills that can help you exert energy in way that won’t wear you out! Learn how to use these skills by clicking here.

Compassion Cycle









Check out our new book on about compassionate accountability and see how you can stop wasting energy in drama.

Copyright 2016, Next Element Consulting, LLC

CWC + Discussion GuideGet our latest book Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive system for building cultures of compassionate accountability.

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Your Voting Options: Abandon Your Beliefs Or Abandon Your Tribe

I am fascinated by the energy being spent by Democrats and Republicans alike to discredit the other party’s candidate. If I had a dollar for every infographic and speech explaining why NOT to vote for Hillary or Donald, I’d be rich! This is a reflection of the intensely adversarial climate in which we are living. Polarization trumps collaboration, hateful messages trump meaningful conversations. Emotional volatility trumps rational thought. Fear trumps everything.

I feel a lot of empathy for anyone heading to the polls this November. Beneath the surface of all the acrimony is something nobody wants to talk about. (more…)

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The Anatomy Of Peace: Kindred Spirits

I still remember reading Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of The Box like it was yesterday. The principles in this book from The Arbinger Institute were instrumental in helping form my theory of leadership and approach to conflict. It was a transformative experience ten years ago and still one of the top three leadership books on my list.

The latest Arbinger book I’m reading is The Anatomy of Peace: Resolving The Heart of Conflict. I feel like a kindred spirit with these folks! This book resonates with me at so many levels. (more…)

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New Certifications From Next Element; Our Tools In Your Hands

This is big news!

We are excited to announce two new certifications to help you bring the power of our Leading Out of Drama (LOD) program inside your organization. Beyond our current LOD Certified Providers, you are the first to get this opportunity.

Are you eager to:

  • order and facilitate onsite courses whenever you want, without paying training fees?
  • use Next Element’s newest Leading Out of Drama curriculum?
  • take a pro-active approach to workplace drama?
  • build just the right professional development program for any level of your organization?

The best Next Element courses and assessments. On your terms!

Conflict and You: The Basics of Compassionate Accountability

DRA CollageThis 2-3 hour course is the perfect entry-level program for tackling workplace drama head-on. Every participant receives a code to take the on-line Drama Resilience Assessment (DRA), and immediately receives by e-mail their Conflict and You Course Workbook and personalized DRA profile results. Conflict and You can be used as a self-guided professional development activity, or led by a certified LOD Facilitator or Practitioner to create a company-wide program for turning negative drama into compassionate accountability. Enhance the learning experience with a companion training video that helps participants interpret and apply their DRA results.

What is Compassionate Accountability and how will it transform your company? Listen to Dr. Nate Regier’s podcast.

Only $25 per person!

Want to see how you can get this course for your employees?

Click here!

Want a free code to try out the course? Call us at 316-283-4200 or Click here.

The LOD Leader’s Application Pack

LOD App Pack

The ultimate compassionate accountability toolkit for leaders!

The App Pack can transform the way your teams, boards, committees and management groups work together. Bring the concepts of LOD off the page and into the meeting room, break room and board room. User-friendly and power-packed, each App Pack includes:

  • A Leadership App Pack User’s Guide
  • One code to take the Conflict and You course and a receive customized DRA report
  • A copy our new book, Conflict Without Casualties (with a second free code to take the DRA)
  • Four trail guides (each takes about 3-4 hours to complete) guide you and your team through the most drama-filled leadership challenges — making an apology to get back on solid footing, leading effective meetings, building dynamic, strong and healthy relationships and conducting win/win performance conversations. Tear-out “Quick Tips” cards help you keep the strategies handy when you need them most.
  • Podcasts from Dr. Nate Regier to accompany each App Pack Trail Guide. Listen to Dr. Nate Regier’s podcast accompanying the Meetings trail guide.

Only $220 per person for a comprehensive leadership program!

Contact us to learn how you can get the LOD App Pack for your leaders

You can bring these courses to your company today! Get certified as an LOD Facilitator or Practitioner.

LOD Facilitator Certification

2-days – 10% customer appreciation discount*
  • For HR leads, trainers, and team-leaders who want to introduce compassionate accountability to their team
  • Learn all the basics of how to recognize and redirect negative drama into compassionate accountability
  • Learn how to facilitate the Conflict and You course, and the LOD Leadership Application Pack
  • Pass a written content test
  • Start using these powerful resources in your organization!
  • 2016 Certifications: August 15-16, and October 10-11*

LOD Practitioner Certification

3-days – 10% customer appreciation discount*
  • For leaders who want skills for coaching drama behavior into compassionate accountability
  • All the components of Facilitator Certification
  • Practice and verify your proficiency in the LOD compassionate accountability skills
  • Learn how to interpret the full DRA profile (excellent for coaching, mentoring, and performance management)
  • Gain access to MyNE, Next Element’s assessment management portal, and be able to order full DRA profiles, Conflict and You courses, and see aggregate data for your groups and teams.
  • Note: Candidates must complete one-day LOD Core Concepts one-day course as a pre-requisite before entering certification
  • 2016 Certifications: August 15-17, and October 10-12*

* We are here because of you! Any current or past Next Element client is invited to take advantage of our 2016 certifications at a 10% discount.

Take advantage of our 2016 LOD Certifications! Call us at 316-283-4200 or Contact us to learn more.


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Brexit, Trump, And The Surge of Struggling Against

In recent weeks we’ve seen a surge of oppositional and adversarial struggling. Brexit is the most recent example of the Britain struggling against the EU to differentiate, seeking to increase their sovereignty and independence. Trump’s message is very similar, that we should struggle against anyone who is perceived to be watering down America’s strength and identity. Even though adversarial and oppositional struggle always leads to increased violence and other negative personal consequences, people still choose it. I’d like to offer a perspective through the lens of Karpman’s Drama Triangle. (more…)

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Conflict Has a Reputation. Are You Tarnishing Or Burnishing It?

For most people, conflict has a reputation for leading to hurt feelings, damaged relationships, and wasted energy. It’s no surprise when we look back at the role-models we had for conflict growing up, or the examples we see in popular culture or current events.

Most people tarnish the reputation of conflict. This is unfortunate because conflict isn’t inherently bad. Conflict is simply the gap between what we want or need and what we are experiencing at any point in time. How we handle this gap is what defines us, and defines conflict.

Struggle is inherent in conflict because it’s human nature to work towards what we want. How you struggle determines whether conflict will be tarnished or burnished. (more…)

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Leaders, How Are You Handling Diversity On Your Team?

People are different. So what? Now what? One of a leader’s primary responsibilities is to somehow negotiate this diversity to deliver results. Team goals AND individual differences are both at play whenever a leader is leading his or her team. Here are three ways to deal with this balance. (more…)

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Open Mind vs. Open Heart

Openness is a big thing for us at Next Element. As one of the three Compassion Skills, Openness is a critical leadership competency, and the starting point for healthy conflict. Many people who are initially exposed to our model believe they are open and later discover the difference between an open mind and an open heart. Consider the contrasts below. (more…)

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Are Learning and Development Professionals At Risk for Drama?

Surely the world’s top learning professionals don’t participate in drama! Or do we?

If you visited our booth at the 2016 ATD International Conference and Expo in Denver, you probably experienced the Drama Resilience Assessment (DRA), our online profile of a person’s drama risks and compassion potentials. We debriefed several hundred DRA profiles with L&D professionals from around the world. The aggregate results are shown below. We won’t say it’s a perfect measure of the industry, but it is a significant cross-section of conference attendees. Click here to view full report. (more…)

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Leading Cultures of Openness The Main Theme At ATD International Conference And Expo

A movement is afoot and the pendulum is swinging back. Leaders who foster environments of emotional safety, vulnerability and openness position their organizations for the greatest success in today’s relationship-based economy.

ATD 2016 International Conference & ExhibitionNext Element recently attended and exhibited at the International Convention and Expo for the Association for Talent Development. Here’s a great synopsis of the conference, including highlights of Simon Sinek’s keynote.

The response we received was overwhelming and affirming. In addition to receiving the “Best Newcomer of the Year” award, our message of Compassionate Accountability struck a resounding chord with attendees. (more…)

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