Conflict Without Casualties

Conflict without Casualties—Mobile, Tablet and Print

Conflict Without Casualties: Q&A With Nate Regier

Conflict without Casualties—Mobile, Tablet and PrintOn April 24 my new book, Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading with Compassionate Accountability, officially launches worldwide in paperback, e-book, and audio-book. It’s been an amazing journey so far. I’ve been doing a lot of interviews, speaking engagements, and guest blogs so I’ve had plenty of opportunity to share the message of compassionate accountability and to answer questions about the book. Here are some of them. (more…)

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An Embargo On Emotional Exports

Have you ever heard someone express an emotional concern and then someone else gets busy trying to fix it? Someone might say, “I’m worried about the financial stability of our new investment partner.” Immediately, someone else tries to defend the financial stability of the new business partner, or go find information to help soothe this person’s worry. It’s like others accept the export, take on that person’s emotion, and then try to solve it for them. The exporting of emotions is a pervasive phenomenon that consumes tremendous amounts of time and results in very little positive outcomes. It’s drama. (more…)

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Tackling Workplace Conflict: Research And Best Practices To Stop The Drama

On average, employees around the world spend about 2.1 hours per week, or over one day per month, dealing with workplace conflict in some way. In the US, that number is higher (2.8 hrs/week) equating to approximately $359 billion in paid hours. Non-profit sectors experience the most workplace conflict, with nearly 48% of employees reporting conflict at work.

What is the actual prevalence of conflict in the workplace, what causes it, and what opportunities are there for positive changes? To answer this, I’ve studied the most comprehensive workplace conflict research I could find, a 2008 study commissioned by CPP Inc., one of Europe’s leading business psychology firms, and Fellipelli, one of South America’s leading business psychology firms. The study included survey data from 5000 employees at all levels of their companies in nine countries around Europe and the Americas and remains some of the most comprehensive and useful research available. Here’s a summary. (more…)

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Turning Social Media Drama Into Positive Energy

“You don’t have to attend every argument you’re invited to.” – Tim Fargo

I wish I would have met and interviewed Tim Fargo a long time ago. It might have saved me some heartache from misguided Facebook posts or e-mails sent in the heat of the moment.

Tim Fargo is an entrepreneur, 2X Inc. 500 winner, international speaker, best-selling author, and president and CEO of Social Jukebox, a social media content management system. Tim wrote the Amazon best selling book, Alphabet Success, which distills the business and leadership lessons he’s learned through his journey of building and leading several highly successful companies.

Recently I interviewed Tim about social media drama, and how to turn it into positive energy.

The full interview is posted on my podcast.

Hear Tim’s wisdom on how to stay positive with social media. The first half focuses around healthy personal habits with social media. The second half focuses more on strategic use of social media. If you use SM for your business, there are some great tips in here! Learn about Social Jukebox, a terrific tool for being strategic in your social media activity.

Other nuggets from this podcast:

  • What’s the value of being strategic?
  • Who do you want to be online?
  • The role of social media in politics
  • Analysis of how Donald Trump is using of Twitter
  • When is it time to disengage?
  • From echo chamber to Social Media strategy
Copyright 2017, Next Element Consulting

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CWC + Discussion Guide

Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive guide for balancing compassion and accountability to build relationships that are safe, curious, and consistent.

 

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Can I Trust You To Trust Me?

People who are big on trust says it takes years to earn, and seconds to destroy. This seems ironically one-sided and hypocritical to me.

I’ve spent a long time earning your trust by following through on commitments, making good on promises and being honest with you.

Now I have a few questions for you.

  1. When I make a mistake, can I trust you to forgive me?
  2. When you are surprised by a decision I make, can I trust you to ask about my motives before jumping to conclusions?
  3. When you feel afraid or embarrassed about something did, can I trust you to be transparent with me about your feelings?

Can I trust you to trust me? This is compassion. This is “struggling with.”

Trust is not static. It is given and earned every day. Over and over.

Trust starts and ends with openness.

Trust is about behavior, not expectations.

Copyright 2017, Next Element Consulting

Join our community to receive weekly articles and tips.


CWC + Discussion Guide

Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive guide for balancing compassion and accountability to build relationships that are safe, curious, and consistent.

 

PodBeanButton Subscribe to Dr. Regier’s free podcast

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Four Counterproductive Myths About Conflict

This article was originally published in Fast Company

Conflict has a bad rap. Just think of the word. Ask people the first things that come mind when they hear it, and they’ll often say things like, “run away,” “somebody gets hurt,” “I hate it,” “fighting,” or “war.” Most peoples’ negative associations with conflict come from personal experience. Mine do, too. I grew up the son of Mennonite missionary parents. Mennonites are a Protestant denomination known for nonviolent conflict resolution. The early messages I heard growing up were, “Turn the other cheek” or “Find a way to solve your problem without resorting to violence.” My parents dedicated their lives to building more peaceful and uplifting relationships with others.

Conflict can be destructive, but it by no means has to be.

(more…)

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My Top Five Blog Posts of 2016

Happy New Year! I am so grateful to all my blog subscribers for reading what I post and sharing your comments. Many of my articles have been inspired by comments, questions, and stories you share.

In case you missed these, or want to read them again, here are the top five articles of 2016, based on traffic and interaction with these posts on our website.

#5 – Four Uncomfortable Truths About Feelings

Emotional intelligence is where it’s at. If you are on Twitter, search #StartAtOpen to see all the research, stories, and tips relating to the power of creating a safe emotional space for yourself and others.

#4 – When Personality Meets Communication

This article gained steam faster than any other one this year. It is fourth on the list and was only published in October. Thanks to all the PCM trainers and enthusiasts out there for sharing and liking it.

#3 – Neural Coupling, Brain Syncing And Communication

This article is not as technical as the title might imply, yet it’s full of cool science. I geek out when I realize that teaching people how to match perceptions and close channels literally helps re-wire the brain in more healthy ways. Yeah, we can change the world one person, one interaction, one neural pathway at a time!

#2 – Leadership And Manipulation: Donald Trump Case Study, Part 1

I picked on Trump quite a bit last year. This year my commitment is to be less critical of politicians, and more focused on using well-known figures as learning examples. There’s a second part to this one.

#1 – Six Personality-Based Reasons Why Trump Is Unfit To Be President

Far and away the most clicked and shared article of 2016. I wonder why? Will my predictions prove to be true? Who knows? He keeps surprising us every day. Regardless, there are some great tips in this article for understanding personality differences in and out of distress.

Thanks for letting me into your life! Looking forward to a fabulous 2017!

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2017

Join our community to receive weekly articles and tips.


CWC + Discussion Guide

Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive guide for balancing compassion and accountability to build relationships that are safe, curious, and consistent.

PodBeanButton Subscribe to Dr. Regier’s free podcast

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When To Use Open-Ended vs. Closed-Ended Questions

How you ask a question is as important as what you ask about. Here’s a guide for when to use open vs. closed-ended questions.

Use Open-Ended Questions when…

  • you are interested in the answer
  • you are seeking options and alternatives
  • you are willing to be influenced by new information
  • you care about what the other person has to share

Examples:

What ideas do you have?

What’s your perspective on this issue?

How do you feel about this?

Which option do you recommend?

Use closed-ended questions when…

  • your goal is a multiple choice test with one right answer
  • you already know what you want to hear
  • you are trying to trap someone
  • you’ve already made up your mind
  • you want to evaluate or judge the answer
  • you are in a hurry
  • you really don’t care at all

Examples:

Don’t you believe we should call them first?

What part of “no margin, no mission” don’t you understand?

Italian or Mexican?

Really?

Did you mean to say that?

Generally, open-ended questions convey curiosity. Closed-ended questions convey something else. What’s your goal?

Copyright Next Element Consulting, LLC 2016

Join our community to receive weekly articles and tips.


CWC + Discussion Guide

Conflict Without Casualties: A Field Guide for Leading With Compassionate Accountability. This book is the foundation for our Leading Out of Drama program, a comprehensive guide for balancing compassion and accountability to build relationships that are safe, curious, and consistent.

PodBeanButton Subscribe to Dr. Regier’s free podcast

Read More

5 Tips for Turning Holiday Drama Into Holiday Spirit

For many families living in the United States, this holiday season may be a difficult one. Following one of the most divisive and nasty presidential elections in US history, tensions will likely be high when we gather at the holidays. Whether your family is one who can talk openly about hot topics like politics, or chooses to “agree to disagree” to keep the peace, it’s going to be tough to keep drama at bay. Here are five tips for keeping yourself sane this holiday season.

1. Focus on commonalities

This election has been focused almost exclusively on what divides candidates and people. With family and friends, you have so much more that unites you, that you have in common. Don’t let your party affiliation or candidate preference cause amnesia for the wonderful things you have in common. (more…)

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Do This, Not That: A Guide To Drama In The Workplace

This article was originally published in Success.com.

No dramatic narrative is complete without an element of conflict. When there is tension between two opposing forces, drama ensues. This structure is as true in the business world as it is in storytelling. Unfortunately, rather than just driving a narrative, drama in interpersonal relationships often becomes more destructive than productive. This truth stems from the fact that we are often more invested in justifying our negative behavior than in actually creating anything worthwhile. Gallup estimates that active disengagement at work due to dramatic interactions costs U.S. businesses as much as $550 billion per year. Building positive relationships at work has been proven to be one of the most compelling reasons for employees to remain loyal to a company, even more so than compensation. (more…)

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