Who is “we?”  Have you ever heard statements like these at home and work:  “We should really do something about that!” “We need to make a decision‚” “We should get this done by Friday‚” “We need to do a better job of keeping the house clean.”

“We” has you leaving the conversation wondering who’s we, and whose doing what?  It also can be interpreted as a passive tactic, of not asserting what you really feel/think/believe, or a defensive move for avoiding conflict or responsibility.  Either way, it leads to miscommunication.

So here is what you can do if “we” shows up in conversation.   First, trust intentions.  Stay curious, wanting and waiting to listen and understand.  Second, openly, and without opinion or assumption, ask for clarification.  (If you’ve already formed an opinion, judgment or assumption, it’s tough to be truly open.)

If you have been trained in the Process Communication Model (PCM), you know we are also talking about using appropriate parts and channels (what’s in front of you?) in how you ask for clarification.

Rest assured that if you do nothing, “we” will keep hanging around and tasks will never get completed… because “we” doesn’t do anything.  A frog could get more done.  If you want to know more about the PCM, give us a shout. Ribbit.

Submitted by:

About every three years we get one of those storms in Kansas that dumps several inches of rain in an hour or two.  Streets are like rivers, ditches are overflowing onto the streets, and yards look like lakes.  If your gutters aren’t flowing freely, rainwater will run over the edges, right down the side of your foundation, and flood your basement in a hurry.  Even the best sump pumps struggle to keep up.

Miraculously, I’m still alive.  Never mind that there were two or three HUNDRED sunny days when I could have safely cleaned my gutters.  Somehow I seem to get motivated only when tragedy is imminent, and I put myself at high risk to fix the situation.

Is this how you tend to your gutters?  Do you let the little leaves and debris in your life pile up until there’s a crisis?  Do you wait to fix things until doing so puts you in danger?  Maybe you procrastinate, avoid, or just dismiss the little things that aren’t fun, take a little extra effort, or sidetrack you from the important things of the day.  Most likely, the clogged gutters in your life cause even the small rains to soak your basement.

Today, make a commitment to clean your gutters.  Maybe it’s a messy desk, an apology that’s long overdue, a software upgrade, quality time with your kids.  Take time out of your sunny day to joyfully and mindfully clean the gutters of your life so that when it rains AND pours, you can stay inside and enjoy the safety and comfort of your home.

Submitted by:

And how sad that we so often believe that the star is “out there,” just beyond our reach.  When you stop focusing on expectations and begin focusing on what you want, you can be among the stars.

Start with these three steps:

Set your sights: What do you really want?  What have you been putting off because it wasn’t practical, or too risky?  What have you been avoiding because it just seems “too out reach?”  Get clear, get focused, and get honest about what you really want.

Set your mind: Begin by becoming aware of all those negative and pessimistic messages in and around you telling you you can’t, you shouldn’t, or “you’d be better off playing it safe.”  Recognize that those messages come from fear, shame, and selfishness rather than owning your star-power and making a difference in the universe.

Set your course: Get moving.  Do something, anything, to begin working towards your star.

And remember, when you set your sights, your mind, and your course in-line with your dream, the stars are already within reach.  Where you end up is anybody’s guess!

What could the Magi’s gifts teach us about reaching our greatest potential?

Gold: Precious and worthy across all cultures and times, a gift fit for royalty.  Give yourself the gift of royalty.  You are worthy of great contribution, to pursue a a life of significance.  Believe in your value and your purpose.

Frankincense: Touted for its medicinal and soothing properties, herbalists say frankincense is calming, restorative, gently clarifying, and meditative.  Give yourself the gift of gentleness and patience.  It’s OK to take your time, restore yourself, gain clarity, and become inspired to realize your dreams.

Myrrh: While it has strong antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties, Myrrh is most well-known as an embalming material for Egyptian mummies.  Myrrh signifies pain and death.  Growth usually requires death; part of you may have to die in order for the rest of you to flourish.  Give yourself the gift of letting go of the dead weight of old habits, behaviors, and beliefs.

To be your best self, take a lesson from the Magi and give yourself an Epiphany!
-NR

What if you got rid of expectations and focused on what you wanted instead? I bet you’d experience…
•    More responsibility, less resentment
•    More courage, less disappointment
•    More ownership, less compliance
•    More acceptance less judgment
•    More honesty, less assuming
•    More persistence, less aggression
•    More trust, less control
•    More creativity, less coercion
•    More intention, less luck
•    More asking, less wishing
•    More mistakes, fewer failures
•    More joy, less justifying
•    More goals, fewer rules

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Upcoming Events

If you haven’t RSVP’d for our exciting event on January 20th, please e-mail michele@next-element.com today!
Lefeuvre-Pauley Jan 2012

We are extending December’s E-News contest until February, to learn more, here’s a link to December’s E-News, look for “Play Time,” and submit your entry!

You still time to register for Nate’s Feb. 14 “Essential Techniques for Productive Meetings” through Lorman Education.

There are a smattering of new public seminars available at MUSE School California throughout this year – while it’s not the Newton KS Train Station, it’s still a pretty cool location.  For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com

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“Knowing about a tool is one thing. Having the guts to use it in a way that brings art to the world is another.” – Seth Godin

Over 40 years ago, Dr. Taibi Kahler discovered patterns of human interaction and communication that allow people to anticipate and respond more effectively to each other – second, by second. The science behind this has been proven. The art of using this tool continues to evolve, and we are grateful to be part of it.

Communication: Art or Simply a Means to an End?

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We love to share the word about the amazing stuff our friends and clients are doing. We know it is short notice…(Registration deadline is today, Jan. 13) and, this experiential symposium at Iowa State University is sure to be incredible!

Iowa State – Symposium

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We look forward to seeing many of you at the 22nd Annual International Association for Challenge Course Technology Conference in Boston, MA next month!  Please come say “hi” at one of our workshops or in the exhibit hall.  And we’re pretty doggone honored to have our very own Jeff King as the official emcee of the conference!

ACCT Conference Link

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Hot Wings Siting!

We received this fun Hot Wings siting from our friend Abe Regier, in Pittsburg PA.  The photograph is Maisie Harms, also known as the genius chef at Chez Cottingham.  Abe enjoyed the “Wing, Slider Patty and Nugget Platter.”

“Juicy, presumptuous, with a kick of phthalates. Oak-y, but at the same time plastic. The mouth feel is much more tender than we expected–the outer coating gives to the teeth. We highly recommend these Fisher Price wings for getting your fix. Any time, no prep, no mess = no wait for your wings.”

• More responsibility, less resentment
• More courage, less disappointment
• More ownership, less compliance
• More acceptance less judgment
• More honesty, less assuming
• 
More persistence, less aggression
• 
More trust, less control
• More creativity, less coercion
• More intention, less luck
• More asking, less wishing
• 
More mistakes, fewer failures
• More joy, less justifying
• 
More goals, fewer rules

- NR

In the coming year, look for the continuing evolution of PCM with Next Element.  Our passion is to help you communicate for a change!

-NR

Read Seth Godin’s entire blog post…

Tools vs insight

How is your vocabulary? It’s a vital tool, certainly. Do you know these words?
a, after, and, as, die, eternal, first, gets, gun, have, in, is, job, life, me, mouth, my, pushing, saying, step, that, the, to, Tyler, waiter, you.

How about these?
a, am, and, anywhere, are, be, boat, box, car, could, dark, do, eat, eggs, fox, goat, good, green, ham, here, house, I, if, in, let, like, may, me, mouse, not, on, or, rain, Sam, say, see, so, thank, that, the, them, there, they, train, tree, try, will, with, would, you.

The first list contains every word in the opening lines from Fight Club, the second is the entire word list from Green Eggs and Ham.  Of course, neither you nor I wrote either of these, regardless of how well trained we are in what the words (the tools) mean.

Knowing about a tool is one thing. Having the guts to use it in a way that brings art to the world is another. Perhaps we need to spend less time learning new tools and more time using them.

from:  http://sethgodin.typepad.com/seths_blog/2011/12/tools-and-insight.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+typepad%2Fsethsmainblog+%28Seth%27s+Blog%29

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FEATURED CLIENT

Our featured client this month is Meramec Adventure Learning Ranch in Eastern Missouri.  Brett Bailey, director shares in this article, “Next Element has taught us how to more effectively bridge the transfer-of-learning gap, which is essential to the work Meramec offers its young participants.  We give youth the ability to recognize they have something unique and special to offer.  I believe that inspires a lot of purpose, which goes a long way toward developing efficacy and hope.”  Click here to read the article.

WHITE PAPER

There are a number of things that our parents told us when we were growing up that are not true, things like, “If you do not eat your green beans you will not grow up to be big and strong.”  However, one of the many things that they told us that is true: “You can do anything you put your mind to.”  This is why we like to say: “own your potency,” and this is how we define it: own and acknowledge your efficacy, effectiveness and strengths. Owning your potency is how you achieve success. Click here to read more of Jeff’s thoughts on this subject.

PCM NUGGET

Conditional vs. Positional – It’s a Matter of Degree! For more on the difference between first and second degree distress, check out this blog post…

NE CORNER

We celebrate and welcome new NEOS® users: Kathleen Friesen, Friesen Group, North Newton, KS; Michelle Axell and Jennifer Nelson, ID 287Plymouth, MN. And new PCM® trainers, Jason Leal, Prairie View, Newton, KS and Donald Morris, Savvis, St. Louis, MO.

PLAY TIME

Last month we asked “What three words could change your life?”  What we were looking for: “Need, But, and See” – as shared in Jeff’s White Paper. We neglected to specify “if you never use them again,” so we received a lot of inspiring and fun submissions. (Thank you!)
- I love you
- Impossible is nothing
- Process Communication Model
- I was wrong
- Your life matters
- I am pregnant
- Open, Persistent, Resourceful
- You are hired!

And, the first person who gave us the answer we were looking for was Carolyn Wilhelm, CFO of Kidron Bethel Village in North Newton, KS.

We learned a little lesson about communication ourselves with that one!

For December, we will give $100 to the person who submits the most compelling reply to Jeff’s white paper on Owning Your Potency… All entries must be submitted as comments on this page of our website.

GOT PROCESS POLL

New question… visit gotprocess.com, scroll to the bottom of the page and place your VOTE!!  “What is life like when you have Reactor-Persister as your base-phase combo?” vs. “What is life like when you have Workaholic-Persister as your base-phase combo?”

UPCOMING SEMINARS

We hope you’ll take advantage of the special 20% discount, exclusively for our clients and friends, to join Nate’s Lorman Education audio conference on February 14.  The title is “Effective Techniques for Productive Meetings”  Click here to learn more.

And… due to popular demand, we have added a PCM Core Competency Training to our schedule, January 11 – 13 in Newton KS.  This one is filling up fast, we hope you’ll reserve your spot soon!

Are you a PCM Trainer?  We’re offering an exclusive NEOS Certification just for you!  Join Jerome Lefeuvre from France and the Pauley’s from Maryland, January 19 – 20 event in Newton KS.

We would love to see you in one of our workshops at the Association for Challenge Course Technology’s (ACCT) Annual International Conference in Boston, MA – February 9 – 12.  Discover more on our website!

Facilitating Self-Efficacy – March 7 – 18, Newton KS

NEOS Certification – March 9, Newton KS

Visit our calendar often for upcoming seminars and events!

“I have been to a number of self help, motivational and improvement seminars during my career.  This by far outranks them all.  Very worthwhile investment of my time. Wish I had this information 20 years ago.”  - Dan Roberson, Exec. Broker, PDC Companies,  Little Rock, AR

    PocketPCM

Don’t leave home (or for some, go home) without it.

HOT WINGS UPDATE

Brian Kenady, outdoor education student at Georgia College, is enjoying some tasty Irish Whiskey Glazed wings at Fionn MacCools in Jacksonville, FL during the AEE international conference. These wings were doggone good!

We’re throwing down a challenge for 2012.  How many of these top ten places will we get wing sightings from y’all?