Dealing with Ungrateful Employees; Untouchable Leaders ask Impossible Questions; New Staff Announcement; Nate promoted to Master Certifying Trainer; Hot Wings with John Parr and Taibi Kahler…

Dealing with Ungrateful Employees

You’re a fixer. You see needs and dive into the solution. You are so perceptive that you don’t even have to be asked. And, you are frequently resentful that people don’t appreciate your help. You’ve developed a martyr complex and might even grumble under your breath “After all I’ve done for them, they are so ungrateful.”

Problem is, they didn’t ask for your help. They may not even want it. And, you didn’t include them in the decision. Do you want more gratitude from those in your life? Stop trying to fix them, ask them first, and be a resource instead of a rescuer.

Untouchable Leaders ask Impossible Questions

An effective way to become untouchable is to ask impossible questions. There are few things more confusing and demoralizing to your employees than when you are indirect, ask questions where you already know the “right answer,” or ask them in such a way as to keep employees guessing. Here are a few examples with more appropriate alternatives:

Impossible Question: “Don’t you think you’ve spent enough time on that?”
Appropriate Alternative: “I believe you’ve spent enough time on that.”

Impossible Question: “What, exactly, did you mean?”
Appropriate Alternative: “What did you mean?”

If you are struggling to get people to talk to you, open up to you, or answer your questions, the problem may be that you are putting the answer out of reach. It’s OK to challenge your employees to learn, discover, and struggle to grow. It’s not OK to put the “right” answer out of reach so you can watch them struggle.

We are honored to announce the addition of Aaron Chappell Deckert to the Next Element team effective July 1st.  Aaron is returning to the U.S. after 3 years in Colombia.  He comes to us with 3 years experience as a PCM Trainer, a master’s degree in organizational development, and is fluent in Spanish.  We look forward to introducing him to everyone in-person!

Communication Tips

We’re diving into Google+ head first, and we invite you to join us!  Join Jeff on May 14th for his first “Chatting with Jeff” live video conference!  Open to anyone that has been through any Process Communication Model (PCM) training.  For more details visit our website Calendar.  Your next chance will be June 25.

Public Seminars

PCM Core CompetencyTraining, August 6 – 8, Newton KS

Advanced PCM Conflict Resolution Seminar, August 9 – 10, Newton KS

PCM Trainer Certification, August 13 – 17, Newton KS

For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com

And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

(click for more info)

Announcement

We are quite proud of our very own Nate Regier, upon receiving this recent press release from Kahler Communications, Inc:

“We want to extend our congratulations to John Parr and Nate Regier, who have just completed certification with Taibi Kahler as Certifying Master Trainers.

What is a “Certifying Master Trainer”?

A Certifying Master Trainer is someone authorized by KCI to evaluate and certify PCM experts as Certifying Trainers in the US and Master Trainers in the rest of the world.  They act as agents of KCI and, in licensed territories, perform their services in consultation with the owners of the territorial PCM licenses.

The selection and certification of John and Nate is part of KCI’s ongoing efforts to ensure continuity for PCM as a methodology and a business in the future.”

To which we say, “Way to go Nate!  Let’s have a celebration party!!”

Hot Wings Update

“The wings at Last Chance Lakeside Cafe were…well…pretty much just fried chicken. Rob Wert, Executive VP & COO of Kahler Communications, Inc., tried to convince me that there was some buffalo flavoring on them, but I didn’t taste it. I trust he’s probably right because my taste threshold is pretty distorted. They were crispy on the outside, plump and juicy on the inside, and the blue cheese dressing was great. I’d give them a 3/5.” – Nate

John Parr, Process Communications UK

Taibi Kahler, Kahler Communications Inc., Hot Springs, Arkansas

Say, “Thank you for your opinion.”

This person has an opinion about your life, and world, and truly believes that he knows what is best for you.

If you choose to disagree with him, then you have engaged in a power struggle and nobody wins when this happens.  If you are successful, and are not having any problems, then just continue to do what you do.  Say, “Thank you,” and move on with your life.

I know it can be offensive and hard to swallow.  Give yourself a break, don’t borrow the stress, just say “Thank you.”  I would be willing to bet that the more you say, “Thank you for your opinion,” the less you will hear the words, “You should ________.”

Give it a shot and please let me know how it works out… you really should!

Submitted by:

Jeff King, Trainer and Co-Owner

316.288.6305

“What if we try that and then everyone wants one?”

“What if they come back with even more demands?”

“What if…” may be one of the most effective ways to hijack possibility and potential.  It is human nature to anticipate, plan, prepare, and be ready.  There is nothing wrong with that – it helps us prevent potential catastrophes.  However, when the ability to imagine future scenarios incessantly focuses on worst-case scenarios, innovation stops and positive energy fizzles out.  The trouble with “what if…” is that it rarely ever happens, rarely could happen, and has almost no evidence in its favor.  It’s usually the construction of a pessimist who’s afraid to try something new or believe that clouds don’t have silver linings.

Energy flows where attention goes. What if, instead, you paid attention to what could be?

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6174

These two things really stood out for me in this article:  We all know that Gen-Xers are different and that they negotiate their work, play and family very differently from their parents.  And, wow! 76% are not interested in a promotion?!  This really pushes us to a different understanding of pay grades and how we value employees.

For instance if a employee wants to stay in a position and they have reached the top of their pay grade do we stop giving this person raises?  How do we continue to reward and motivate if pay is stagnate?

What if pay is not stagnate?  What if raises continued without the promotion?  Who does that hurt?

It may hurt the policy manual, those who cannot get their head around change, and those who want to keep that “Eisenhower-era model.”

However, I think and feel that it is great, and that not only can it help with satisfaction it can also help with engagement and reduces turnover.  That 76% is a big number!  We all know that turnover and low morale is costly ($$$).

Maybe the answer is to reduce the stress of promotions and expand our pay grade system to reward those who want to stay put.

The next thing that struck me was the “lattice” structure that was implemented by Deloitte.  The system is not for everybody, it is for those who want it.  The “lattice” is great in my opinion, and it is not for everybody.  There are those us Gen-X or not, who want the promotions, and to climb the ladder.  The sign of a good leader is flexibility.

Flexibility allows a leadership team to construct a “lattice” for some, and to allow others to hang with the “Eisenhower-era model.”

Key learning for me from this article are:

• Be flexible
• Understand that 76 percentile group
• Pay grade systems have to be expanded

Submitted by:

Next Element helps companies to communicate effectively.

Responding requires presence of mind, perspective, self-awareness, and a sense of one’s environment.  Response-able leaders pair experience with new learning and practice to give them a repertoire of options from which to chose.  They never say things like, “I had no choice,” or “You left me no option.”  They are response-able because they know they always have choices, and aren’t afraid to own them.  They face challenges with confidence because they have learned to turn mistakes into stepping stones for success.

Are you response-able?  What leadership skills do you want improve?  How will you gain a new experience, challenge yourself to grow, and increase your repertoire of response options?

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6714

Chatting, Elevating and Golfing

“An expectation, as they say, is a resentment waiting to happen.” – Jon Carroll

We tend to agree with Jon Carroll.  For more on our thoughts about expecting, read Nate’s posts: Want vs. Expect, Hanging Out With the Stars, and Jeff’s post: To Versus With

Facebook Elevates Mood
Did you know that allowing employees to participate in social networking (while at work), may actually increase productivity?
Curious?  Read this recent blog post by Jeff: Facebook Elevates Mood

Golf with UL of Kansas
On April 16, at Sand Creek Station in Newton KS – there will be a “Swing for Success” Urban League of Kansas golf tournament-fund raiser.  If you hurry, you may still be able to join Jeff and other friends out on this gorgeous golf course for a good cause!

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

(click here for more info)

Hot Wings Update
This month’s Hot Wing Update comes from Jamie Estill, principal of MUSE School, California.  “These Fiery Killer Wings from Wood Ranch BBQ and Grill (woodranch.com) in Agoura Hills, CA, should be code named “Asian Porky Zing”… Crispy with a sweet Asian chile dipping sauce, meaty and tender without being too mushy. Texture and tenderness were outstanding; heat was not up to the name, so 4/5 on your rating scale.”

Communication Tips
We’re diving into Google+ head first, and we invite you to join us!  Join Jeff on May 14th for his first “Chatting with Jeff” live audio conference!  Open to anyone that has been through any Process Communication Model (PCM) training.  For more details visit our website Calendar.

Process and the Medical Model
“My experience and research has convinced me that PTM is a model that simultaneously supports the positive aspects of the Medical Model, builds a bridge to transcend outdated assumptions and knowledge, supports current best practices in behavioral health treatment, and suggests bold new directions for the future.”  Please read the rest of this White Paper by Nate, “Process Therapy Model, The Medical Model, and the Future of Behavioral Health.”

Public Seminars
Intro to PCM, May 5, Calabasas CA
PCM Core Competency,  May 7-9, Calabasas CA
PCM Advanced, May 11-12, Calabasas CA
Process Facilitation, May 14-16, Birch Run MI
NEOS Certification, May 18, Newton KS
For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar.

And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Don will be presenting on his ICore propietary program with special focus on skills-based training in three specific disciplines;

influence

lead-generation

accountability

FREE attendance is extended to Next Element friends and clients, courtesy of PKM Steel.

Date: Saturday, April 28

Time: 8:00 am-5:00 pm

RSVP: BY APRIL 20th to Gerald.divelbiss@pkmsteel.com

More About Don

Don Spini, Author of the Best-Selling book, Sixty-Seconds to Yes.   Don has development systems that will assist any committed individual in taking the necessary steps to be successful in today’s environment.

Don brings with him 25 years of successful leadership, sales and sales management experience from both a corporate perspective and as an entrepreneur at the highest level.

When success is no longer an option, failure is no longer a choice, you are left with trying to achieve greatness.

I thought about doing that and… that would not be very effective. (Click here to learn some tips for effectiveness)

On a serious note, if you are not getting responses to your e-mails you may want to review how you are sending out your content.  Also ask yourself, what types of e-mails do you receive that invite you to get overwhelmed and not respond?

When someone receives an e-mail and it is complicated, unorganized, and lengthy, chances are they are not going to respond immediately.  And once they put it off, your chances of getting a timely response just plummeted.

In our techno time, e-mail is the dominate way we communicate, and we all get a ton of e-mails.  I invite you to start thinking about how to make your e-mails short and effective.

Please take a look at these guidelines for sending effective e-mails:

• Keep it short and do not repeat anything you have already said, be concise.
• Organize your questions into bullet points that are easy to read.
• In subject line ask for a response by a certain time.
• Break up your e-mails into multiple smaller e-mails if you have numerous questions that you want answered.
• Don’t use funky or colored font.  Make it eye friendly and use larger font sizes.
• Follow up your e-mail with a request in the subject line if you have not received a response.

If you are not getting responses to your, emails I invite you to take responsibility in the content of your e-mails.  If you make these changes and you are still not getting responses, then schedule a meeting with the person who is not responding to address the problem.

Good luck and see blog titled:  E-Mail and Engagement (for the receiver)

Submitted by:

Yes, of course you would.

So, why do you not answer all of your e-mails?

Not responding to e-mails at work causes disengagement, discord, defensiveness, and discouragement.

This does not mean that you have to answer the content of the e-mail immediately.  However, you must reply with when you will respond to the e-mail. When an e-mail goes unanswered, the sender starts to manifest all kinds of assumptions that are probably incorrect.  The sender also starts to think and feel under-valued and disrespected.

One of the most frequent questions that I am asked when working with organizations is, “How do I get my boss, peer, or supervisor to answer my e-mails?”  Numerous people have shared with me that not getting a response from an e-mail they’ve sent is the most frustrating and stressful part of their job.  This blog post is not for the sender, it for the receiver.

Responding to e-mails is exactly like responding to a face-to-face question.

I know and can empathize with being inundating with e-mails.  I often feel overwhelmed with the amount of e-mails in my inbox.  And, that is NO excuse.  Responding is mine and your responsibility and in today’s techno work it is a responsibility that has heavy consequences…

Disengagement, Discord, Defensiveness and Discouragement

What to do?  Here are some suggestions:

• Respond with a date that you will address the content.
• Block out time weekly on your schedule to respond to e-mails.
• Respond with a date and time you will address the content, ask sender to send another e-mail if they do not hear back from you.
• Respond with a time to verbally talk through the content.
• Monitor your inbox weekly, sometimes we do not look at the bottom of the box.
• Do not put e-mails that you must respond to into folders.  Folders are great, and they can be a wasteland for e-mails that require a response.

Happy responding and please look for a blog titled:  E-Mail and Engagement (for the sender)

Submitted by:

316.288.6305