Dealing with Ungrateful Employees; Untouchable Leaders ask Impossible Questions; New Staff Announcement; Nate promoted to Master Certifying Trainer; Hot Wings with John Parr and Taibi Kahler…

Dealing with Ungrateful Employees

You’re a fixer. You see needs and dive into the solution. You are so perceptive that you don’t even have to be asked. And, you are frequently resentful that people don’t appreciate your help. You’ve developed a martyr complex and might even grumble under your breath “After all I’ve done for them, they are so ungrateful.”

Problem is, they didn’t ask for your help. They may not even want it. And, you didn’t include them in the decision. Do you want more gratitude from those in your life? Stop trying to fix them, ask them first, and be a resource instead of a rescuer.

Untouchable Leaders ask Impossible Questions

An effective way to become untouchable is to ask impossible questions. There are few things more confusing and demoralizing to your employees than when you are indirect, ask questions where you already know the “right answer,” or ask them in such a way as to keep employees guessing. Here are a few examples with more appropriate alternatives:

Impossible Question: “Don’t you think you’ve spent enough time on that?”
Appropriate Alternative: “I believe you’ve spent enough time on that.”

Impossible Question: “What, exactly, did you mean?”
Appropriate Alternative: “What did you mean?”

If you are struggling to get people to talk to you, open up to you, or answer your questions, the problem may be that you are putting the answer out of reach. It’s OK to challenge your employees to learn, discover, and struggle to grow. It’s not OK to put the “right” answer out of reach so you can watch them struggle.

We are honored to announce the addition of Aaron Chappell Deckert to the Next Element team effective July 1st.  Aaron is returning to the U.S. after 3 years in Colombia.  He comes to us with 3 years experience as a PCM Trainer, a master’s degree in organizational development, and is fluent in Spanish.  We look forward to introducing him to everyone in-person!

Communication Tips

We’re diving into Google+ head first, and we invite you to join us!  Join Jeff on May 14th for his first “Chatting with Jeff” live video conference!  Open to anyone that has been through any Process Communication Model (PCM) training.  For more details visit our website Calendar.  Your next chance will be June 25.

Public Seminars

PCM Core CompetencyTraining, August 6 – 8, Newton KS

Advanced PCM Conflict Resolution Seminar, August 9 – 10, Newton KS

PCM Trainer Certification, August 13 – 17, Newton KS

For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com

And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

(click for more info)

Announcement

We are quite proud of our very own Nate Regier, upon receiving this recent press release from Kahler Communications, Inc:

“We want to extend our congratulations to John Parr and Nate Regier, who have just completed certification with Taibi Kahler as Certifying Master Trainers.

What is a “Certifying Master Trainer”?

A Certifying Master Trainer is someone authorized by KCI to evaluate and certify PCM experts as Certifying Trainers in the US and Master Trainers in the rest of the world.  They act as agents of KCI and, in licensed territories, perform their services in consultation with the owners of the territorial PCM licenses.

The selection and certification of John and Nate is part of KCI’s ongoing efforts to ensure continuity for PCM as a methodology and a business in the future.”

To which we say, “Way to go Nate!  Let’s have a celebration party!!”

Hot Wings Update

“The wings at Last Chance Lakeside Cafe were…well…pretty much just fried chicken. Rob Wert, Executive VP & COO of Kahler Communications, Inc., tried to convince me that there was some buffalo flavoring on them, but I didn’t taste it. I trust he’s probably right because my taste threshold is pretty distorted. They were crispy on the outside, plump and juicy on the inside, and the blue cheese dressing was great. I’d give them a 3/5.” – Nate

John Parr, Process Communications UK

Taibi Kahler, Kahler Communications Inc., Hot Springs, Arkansas

Chatting, Elevating and Golfing

“An expectation, as they say, is a resentment waiting to happen.” – Jon Carroll

We tend to agree with Jon Carroll.  For more on our thoughts about expecting, read Nate’s posts: Want vs. Expect, Hanging Out With the Stars, and Jeff’s post: To Versus With

Facebook Elevates Mood
Did you know that allowing employees to participate in social networking (while at work), may actually increase productivity?
Curious?  Read this recent blog post by Jeff: Facebook Elevates Mood

Golf with UL of Kansas
On April 16, at Sand Creek Station in Newton KS – there will be a “Swing for Success” Urban League of Kansas golf tournament-fund raiser.  If you hurry, you may still be able to join Jeff and other friends out on this gorgeous golf course for a good cause!

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

(click here for more info)

Hot Wings Update
This month’s Hot Wing Update comes from Jamie Estill, principal of MUSE School, California.  “These Fiery Killer Wings from Wood Ranch BBQ and Grill (woodranch.com) in Agoura Hills, CA, should be code named “Asian Porky Zing”… Crispy with a sweet Asian chile dipping sauce, meaty and tender without being too mushy. Texture and tenderness were outstanding; heat was not up to the name, so 4/5 on your rating scale.”

Communication Tips
We’re diving into Google+ head first, and we invite you to join us!  Join Jeff on May 14th for his first “Chatting with Jeff” live audio conference!  Open to anyone that has been through any Process Communication Model (PCM) training.  For more details visit our website Calendar.

Process and the Medical Model
“My experience and research has convinced me that PTM is a model that simultaneously supports the positive aspects of the Medical Model, builds a bridge to transcend outdated assumptions and knowledge, supports current best practices in behavioral health treatment, and suggests bold new directions for the future.”  Please read the rest of this White Paper by Nate, “Process Therapy Model, The Medical Model, and the Future of Behavioral Health.”

Public Seminars
Intro to PCM, May 5, Calabasas CA
PCM Core Competency,  May 7-9, Calabasas CA
PCM Advanced, May 11-12, Calabasas CA
Process Facilitation, May 14-16, Birch Run MI
NEOS Certification, May 18, Newton KS
For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar.

And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

It’s time for that annual review and you’ve got some tough feedback to give. You are concerned that it will not go well because of ongoing drama between you and the employee, or perhaps the employee’s difficulty receiving constructive feedback. You know that your executive team is avoiding conflict around key performance and personnel issues that are holding back your company’s progress. Yet you are concerned that nobody on your team knows how to handle this conflict in a productive way.

Introducing, Feedback, Conflict, and Accountability: Strategies for Positive Change, a new seminar to help you become a more effective change agent.   This one or two-day seminar will help you identify what’s going on, how to respond most effectively, and how to follow-through on tough conversations without losing your cool.

Click here for a detailed seminar outline

Viva la Dreamers!

Want to “get inside” a Dreamer’s head?  Check out this link to a terrific Ted Talk by author Susan Cain, titled “The Power of Introverts.”

GotProcess Poll

Our apologies, we didn’t get the link included last month so we are re-posting this winning poll question: “What is it like when you have a Reactor/Persister base/phase combo?”

We invited two of our clients to illustrate through personal examples, what it’s like to have Persister/Reactor base/phase combinations. Thank you to Randy (Reactor Base/Persister Phase) and Rebecca (Persister Base/Reactor Phase) for your heartfelt and poignant stories. (click here to read on…)

On the Road Again

Hot Wings Update

Jeff shared the following with us:  “Hot wings at ESPN Zone in Staples Center, downtown Los Angeles. Watched Lehigh beat Duke, then Lakers beat Minnesota. Good wings, good games.”

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

Owning Your Potency
The winner of our December-January E-News contest is Ryan Hoopes!  His entry starts…
“Wow, this article could not have come at a more perfect time. I encountered a situation last Friday night that fits perfectly with this article. This is the first time I have heard the phrase “own your potency” and I love it! I coach a high school girls basketball team.” Click here to read the rest of the story…

We Love Adventure!
“People pay for compelling experiences that don’t just leave them breathless, but leave them altered in meaningful ways. They pay for relationships that transform how they see the world and themselves.”

Every year we attend the annual international conference for the Association for Challenge Course Technology (ACCT), a gathering of the best and brightest in challenge course design and construction, canopy tours, and zip lines. As Jeff mentioned in his recent blog, all signs point to growth in this industry.  Next Element doesn’t operate a challenge course. We don’t build zip lines. We don’t supply equipment to anyone in this industry. So why are we involved? The answer lies deep within the Costa Rican jungle on the side of a volcano.  Click here to read rest of the story…

GotProcess Poll
Winning poll question: “What is it like when you have a Reactor/Persister base/phase combo?”

We invited two of our clients to illustrate through personal examples, what it’s like to have Persister/Reactor base/phase combinations. Thank you to Randy (Reactor Base/Persister Phase) and Rebecca (Persister Base/Reactor Phase) for your heartfelt and poignant stories.  Click here to read on…

Public Seminars
Facilitating Self-Efficacy, March 7 – 8, Newton KS
NEOS Certification, March 9, Newton KS
PCM Core Competency, March 12 – 14, Newton KS
Intro to PCM, March 14, Calabasas CA
PCM Advanced, March 15 – 16, Newton KS

For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com
And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Hot Wings Siting!
We received yet another Hot Wings siting from our friend Abe Regier.  (We love Abe, AND is anyone else out there eating hot wings??)

From our 2012 challenge, to procure hot wing sitings from the top 10 locations comes Pluckers, Dallas -
“4.5/5 – Tried the popular Baker’s Gold, and Fire in the Hole wings- both excellent. The Baker’s Gold were a sweet bbq with lingering heat, and Fire in the Hole were the hottest commercial wing I’ve had. After 5 my lips were on fire and I was sweating like crazy. High marks for the heat!”

(The picture kinda says it all, doesn’t it?)

Thank you Abe!

What if you got rid of expectations and focused on what you wanted instead? I bet you’d experience…
•    More responsibility, less resentment
•    More courage, less disappointment
•    More ownership, less compliance
•    More acceptance less judgment
•    More honesty, less assuming
•    More persistence, less aggression
•    More trust, less control
•    More creativity, less coercion
•    More intention, less luck
•    More asking, less wishing
•    More mistakes, fewer failures
•    More joy, less justifying
•    More goals, fewer rules

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Upcoming Events

If you haven’t RSVP’d for our exciting event on January 20th, please e-mail michele@next-element.com today!
Lefeuvre-Pauley Jan 2012

We are extending December’s E-News contest until February, to learn more, here’s a link to December’s E-News, look for “Play Time,” and submit your entry!

You still time to register for Nate’s Feb. 14 “Essential Techniques for Productive Meetings” through Lorman Education.

There are a smattering of new public seminars available at MUSE School California throughout this year – while it’s not the Newton KS Train Station, it’s still a pretty cool location.  For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com

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“Knowing about a tool is one thing. Having the guts to use it in a way that brings art to the world is another.” – Seth Godin

Over 40 years ago, Dr. Taibi Kahler discovered patterns of human interaction and communication that allow people to anticipate and respond more effectively to each other – second, by second. The science behind this has been proven. The art of using this tool continues to evolve, and we are grateful to be part of it.

Communication: Art or Simply a Means to an End?

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We love to share the word about the amazing stuff our friends and clients are doing. We know it is short notice…(Registration deadline is today, Jan. 13) and, this experiential symposium at Iowa State University is sure to be incredible!

Iowa State – Symposium

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We look forward to seeing many of you at the 22nd Annual International Association for Challenge Course Technology Conference in Boston, MA next month!  Please come say “hi” at one of our workshops or in the exhibit hall.  And we’re pretty doggone honored to have our very own Jeff King as the official emcee of the conference!

ACCT Conference Link

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Hot Wings Siting!

We received this fun Hot Wings siting from our friend Abe Regier, in Pittsburg PA.  The photograph is Maisie Harms, also known as the genius chef at Chez Cottingham.  Abe enjoyed the “Wing, Slider Patty and Nugget Platter.”

“Juicy, presumptuous, with a kick of phthalates. Oak-y, but at the same time plastic. The mouth feel is much more tender than we expected–the outer coating gives to the teeth. We highly recommend these Fisher Price wings for getting your fix. Any time, no prep, no mess = no wait for your wings.”

FEATURED CLIENT

Our featured client this month is Meramec Adventure Learning Ranch in Eastern Missouri.  Brett Bailey, director shares in this article, “Next Element has taught us how to more effectively bridge the transfer-of-learning gap, which is essential to the work Meramec offers its young participants.  We give youth the ability to recognize they have something unique and special to offer.  I believe that inspires a lot of purpose, which goes a long way toward developing efficacy and hope.”  Click here to read the article.

WHITE PAPER

There are a number of things that our parents told us when we were growing up that are not true, things like, “If you do not eat your green beans you will not grow up to be big and strong.”  However, one of the many things that they told us that is true: “You can do anything you put your mind to.”  This is why we like to say: “own your potency,” and this is how we define it: own and acknowledge your efficacy, effectiveness and strengths. Owning your potency is how you achieve success. Click here to read more of Jeff’s thoughts on this subject.

PCM NUGGET

Conditional vs. Positional – It’s a Matter of Degree! For more on the difference between first and second degree distress, check out this blog post…

NE CORNER

We celebrate and welcome new NEOS® users: Kathleen Friesen, Friesen Group, North Newton, KS; Michelle Axell and Jennifer Nelson, ID 287Plymouth, MN. And new PCM® trainers, Jason Leal, Prairie View, Newton, KS and Donald Morris, Savvis, St. Louis, MO.

PLAY TIME

Last month we asked “What three words could change your life?”  What we were looking for: “Need, But, and See” – as shared in Jeff’s White Paper. We neglected to specify “if you never use them again,” so we received a lot of inspiring and fun submissions. (Thank you!)
- I love you
- Impossible is nothing
- Process Communication Model
- I was wrong
- Your life matters
- I am pregnant
- Open, Persistent, Resourceful
- You are hired!

And, the first person who gave us the answer we were looking for was Carolyn Wilhelm, CFO of Kidron Bethel Village in North Newton, KS.

We learned a little lesson about communication ourselves with that one!

For December, we will give $100 to the person who submits the most compelling reply to Jeff’s white paper on Owning Your Potency… All entries must be submitted as comments on this page of our website.

GOT PROCESS POLL

New question… visit gotprocess.com, scroll to the bottom of the page and place your VOTE!!  “What is life like when you have Reactor-Persister as your base-phase combo?” vs. “What is life like when you have Workaholic-Persister as your base-phase combo?”

UPCOMING SEMINARS

We hope you’ll take advantage of the special 20% discount, exclusively for our clients and friends, to join Nate’s Lorman Education audio conference on February 14.  The title is “Effective Techniques for Productive Meetings”  Click here to learn more.

And… due to popular demand, we have added a PCM Core Competency Training to our schedule, January 11 – 13 in Newton KS.  This one is filling up fast, we hope you’ll reserve your spot soon!

Are you a PCM Trainer?  We’re offering an exclusive NEOS Certification just for you!  Join Jerome Lefeuvre from France and the Pauley’s from Maryland, January 19 – 20 event in Newton KS.

We would love to see you in one of our workshops at the Association for Challenge Course Technology’s (ACCT) Annual International Conference in Boston, MA – February 9 – 12.  Discover more on our website!

Facilitating Self-Efficacy – March 7 – 18, Newton KS

NEOS Certification – March 9, Newton KS

Visit our calendar often for upcoming seminars and events!

“I have been to a number of self help, motivational and improvement seminars during my career.  This by far outranks them all.  Very worthwhile investment of my time. Wish I had this information 20 years ago.”  - Dan Roberson, Exec. Broker, PDC Companies,  Little Rock, AR

    PocketPCM

Don’t leave home (or for some, go home) without it.

HOT WINGS UPDATE

Brian Kenady, outdoor education student at Georgia College, is enjoying some tasty Irish Whiskey Glazed wings at Fionn MacCools in Jacksonville, FL during the AEE international conference. These wings were doggone good!

We’re throwing down a challenge for 2012.  How many of these top ten places will we get wing sightings from y’all?

FEATURED CLIENT

Our featured client this month is Kidron Bethel Village, a retirement village in North Newton KS.  Read how they increased communication effectiveness by 20 – 40% in six key areas.  The article can be read in its entirety by clicking here.

PCM NUGGET

“PCM leaves no-one indifferent because it is so pertinent, complete, and predictive” – Jerome Lefeuvre, Kahler Communication France

From California to Michigan, Vermont to Florida, and right here in the Midwest our experience has been the same as in France. PCM is transformative. We will continue to expand the reach and impact of PCM, innovate, and explore the depths of what this tool can do.

CONTEST

The first person to reply to this question correctly, “What three words could change your life?” will win a $25 gift card of their choice. (This prize has already been awarded)

GOT PROCESS POLL

And the winner is…How can I adapt my communication style and stay authentic?  Authenticity isn’t just about “sticking to your guns.”  Being yourself is about being all you are, accessing all your potential and qualities to be effective with others. Read more by clicking here.

UPCOMING SEMINARS

• Process Facilitation Seminar – Nov 14 – 16, Newton KS
• NEOS Certification – Nov 15 – 16, Newton KS
• Advanced PCM® Conflict Resolution Seminar – Nov 17 – 18, Newton KS
• PCM® Trainer Certification – Nov 28 – Dec 2, Newton KS
• To register, or find out more about any of these seminars, click here.

Here is a blushworthy quote from an attendee of a Process Communication Model Seminar hosted by the greater Wichita area Young Presidents’ Organization…

“I say modern life is conceived through communication. Have you ever moved an object without touching it? That is influence. That is what Nate & Jeff did.“  – Mark Hamade,  Chief Operating Officer at PKM Steel, Salina Steel, MSS Transport

If you haven’t purchased the PocketPCM from your local apps store yet, what are you waiting for?  This handy-dandy, at-your-fingertips communication tool may be just the thing you could use for one of those “awkward moments” at those upcoming holiday parties!

In case you missed it Nate’s article, “Problem Employees: Invest in them or invite them out,” was recently published by the Wichita Eagle.  Click here to read the complete article.

• We’re Three Today!
• Upcoming Events
• Lessons From an Unlikely Hero
• We Hope to See You At… (AEE & ACCT)
• Ask Process Man
• PocketPCM

• Featured Client: Ranlyn Hill, Benevolent Vision
• Challenge Winner: Marja Brandon, Brandon Consulting Group
• PCM Nugget: First Break All the Rules
• Invest or Invite Out
• Nate is now a Certifying Process Education Model Trainer!
• Upcoming Events
• See You Soon: At SHRM Conference, ExpoSure and AEE International Conference
• Hot Wings Update: Joe’s on Sullivan in Atlanta

• Why would a Reactor procrastinate?
• Nate and ISD 287 Minneapolis
• Wichita Chamber Exposure
• Featured Client: Tracy Weber, Kaleidoscope Learning Circle
• Quote from Michigan School Principal
• Upcoming Events
• Hot Wing Update, Courtesy of Rita Knoblauch
• Back to School Challenge
• PCM and Childhood Behavior Disorders
• PocketPCM