Socratic dialogue is all about asking good questions.  In fact, education in its purest form is about asking great questions.

This is fine when the questions come from a place of curiosity and a desire to facilitate learning and empowerment.  When opinions, entitlement, and expectations are behind the question, it all crumbles.  The question becomes a weapon for maintaining authority and superiority, creating dependence, and supporting hierarchy and oppressive traditions.

If you are a teacher, mentor, trainer or facilitator, check your intentions at the door and go back to asking great questions that inspire learning while maintaining integrity.

You Don’t Get Credit for the Answer: You Get Credit for the Question!

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6174

Say, “Thank you for your opinion.”

This person has an opinion about your life, and world, and truly believes that he knows what is best for you.

If you choose to disagree with him, then you have engaged in a power struggle and nobody wins when this happens.  If you are successful, and are not having any problems, then just continue to do what you do.  Say, “Thank you,” and move on with your life.

I know it can be offensive and hard to swallow.  Give yourself a break, don’t borrow the stress, just say “Thank you.”  I would be willing to bet that the more you say, “Thank you for your opinion,” the less you will hear the words, “You should ________.”

Give it a shot and please let me know how it works out… you really should!

Submitted by:

Jeff King, Trainer and Co-Owner

316.288.6305

“What if we try that and then everyone wants one?”

“What if they come back with even more demands?”

“What if…” may be one of the most effective ways to hijack possibility and potential.  It is human nature to anticipate, plan, prepare, and be ready.  There is nothing wrong with that – it helps us prevent potential catastrophes.  However, when the ability to imagine future scenarios incessantly focuses on worst-case scenarios, innovation stops and positive energy fizzles out.  The trouble with “what if…” is that it rarely ever happens, rarely could happen, and has almost no evidence in its favor.  It’s usually the construction of a pessimist who’s afraid to try something new or believe that clouds don’t have silver linings.

Energy flows where attention goes. What if, instead, you paid attention to what could be?

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6174

These two things really stood out for me in this article:  We all know that Gen-Xers are different and that they negotiate their work, play and family very differently from their parents.  And, wow! 76% are not interested in a promotion?!  This really pushes us to a different understanding of pay grades and how we value employees.

For instance if a employee wants to stay in a position and they have reached the top of their pay grade do we stop giving this person raises?  How do we continue to reward and motivate if pay is stagnate?

What if pay is not stagnate?  What if raises continued without the promotion?  Who does that hurt?

It may hurt the policy manual, those who cannot get their head around change, and those who want to keep that “Eisenhower-era model.”

However, I think and feel that it is great, and that not only can it help with satisfaction it can also help with engagement and reduces turnover.  That 76% is a big number!  We all know that turnover and low morale is costly ($$$).

Maybe the answer is to reduce the stress of promotions and expand our pay grade system to reward those who want to stay put.

The next thing that struck me was the “lattice” structure that was implemented by Deloitte.  The system is not for everybody, it is for those who want it.  The “lattice” is great in my opinion, and it is not for everybody.  There are those us Gen-X or not, who want the promotions, and to climb the ladder.  The sign of a good leader is flexibility.

Flexibility allows a leadership team to construct a “lattice” for some, and to allow others to hang with the “Eisenhower-era model.”

Key learning for me from this article are:

• Be flexible
• Understand that 76 percentile group
• Pay grade systems have to be expanded

Submitted by:

Responding requires presence of mind, perspective, self-awareness, and a sense of one’s environment.  Response-able leaders pair experience with new learning and practice to give them a repertoire of options from which to chose.  They never say things like, “I had no choice,” or “You left me no option.”  They are response-able because they know they always have choices, and aren’t afraid to own them.  They face challenges with confidence because they have learned to turn mistakes into stepping stones for success.

Are you response-able?  What leadership skills do you want improve?  How will you gain a new experience, challenge yourself to grow, and increase your repertoire of response options?

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6714

I thought about doing that and… that would not be very effective. (Click here to learn some tips for effectiveness)

On a serious note, if you are not getting responses to your e-mails you may want to review how you are sending out your content.  Also ask yourself, what types of e-mails do you receive that invite you to get overwhelmed and not respond?

When someone receives an e-mail and it is complicated, unorganized, and lengthy, chances are they are not going to respond immediately.  And once they put it off, your chances of getting a timely response just plummeted.

In our techno time, e-mail is the dominate way we communicate, and we all get a ton of e-mails.  I invite you to start thinking about how to make your e-mails short and effective.

Please take a look at these guidelines for sending effective e-mails:

• Keep it short and do not repeat anything you have already said, be concise.
• Organize your questions into bullet points that are easy to read.
• In subject line ask for a response by a certain time.
• Break up your e-mails into multiple smaller e-mails if you have numerous questions that you want answered.
• Don’t use funky or colored font.  Make it eye friendly and use larger font sizes.
• Follow up your e-mail with a request in the subject line if you have not received a response.

If you are not getting responses to your, emails I invite you to take responsibility in the content of your e-mails.  If you make these changes and you are still not getting responses, then schedule a meeting with the person who is not responding to address the problem.

Good luck and see blog titled:  E-Mail and Engagement (for the receiver)

Submitted by:

Yes, of course you would.

So, why do you not answer all of your e-mails?

Not responding to e-mails at work causes disengagement, discord, defensiveness, and discouragement.

This does not mean that you have to answer the content of the e-mail immediately.  However, you must reply with when you will respond to the e-mail. When an e-mail goes unanswered, the sender starts to manifest all kinds of assumptions that are probably incorrect.  The sender also starts to think and feel under-valued and disrespected.

One of the most frequent questions that I am asked when working with organizations is, “How do I get my boss, peer, or supervisor to answer my e-mails?”  Numerous people have shared with me that not getting a response from an e-mail they’ve sent is the most frustrating and stressful part of their job.  This blog post is not for the sender, it for the receiver.

Responding to e-mails is exactly like responding to a face-to-face question.

I know and can empathize with being inundating with e-mails.  I often feel overwhelmed with the amount of e-mails in my inbox.  And, that is NO excuse.  Responding is mine and your responsibility and in today’s techno work it is a responsibility that has heavy consequences…

Disengagement, Discord, Defensiveness and Discouragement

What to do?  Here are some suggestions:

• Respond with a date that you will address the content.
• Block out time weekly on your schedule to respond to e-mails.
• Respond with a date and time you will address the content, ask sender to send another e-mail if they do not hear back from you.
• Respond with a time to verbally talk through the content.
• Monitor your inbox weekly, sometimes we do not look at the bottom of the box.
• Do not put e-mails that you must respond to into folders.  Folders are great, and they can be a wasteland for e-mails that require a response.

Happy responding and please look for a blog titled:  E-Mail and Engagement (for the sender)

Submitted by:

316.288.6305

Just when you think you have the ideal team formed, someone moves on.  Or, perhaps you’re trying to create that perfect team.  I’d like to share a few qualities that stood out for me in this article.

• Remarkable employees ignore job descriptions.  They do not see themselves defined by a description.  They quickly adjust to priorities and do whatever it takes to get the job at hand completed.
• They privately complain.  We want issues brought to our attention, yet some things are better handled in private.
• They are always fiddling.  Although they follow processes, remarkable employees also find ways to make processes better, tweak a timeline, improve a procedure, etc.

These qualities have nothing to do with technical skills, rather an attitude and approach to how they do their job.

Can these remarkable attributes be taught? what happens when your employees are performing in unremarkable ways and you want to see it change? Look no further than Next Element Consulting right here in the Wichita Metro area.  There are times to let an employee go, and other times warrant an investment in that employee or team.  From pre-employment assessment, to executive performance coaching, to leadership development training, Next Element has the expertise to help you find and develop remarkable employees.

Retaining remarkable employees is also very important. I’m fortunate in that I get to see many businesses call our company, Above & Beyond Corporate Gifts when they want to express their appreciation.  We are already helping businesses make their selections for Administrative Professionals’ Day April 25.  Once a year is great, and I would like to encourage acts of appreciation to be shown proactively throughout the year.  Affirmation comes in many forms, and we can help.

If developing and retaining remarkable employees is a goal of yours, give Next Element a call.

Guest blog by:

What does this mean for business?  How should employees engage with Social Networking Sites (SNS) on the job?  Or should they at all?  Another, question may be, can employers control it?

If this article is accurate, then people are in a better space when they engage with SNS.  Happier people are more productive people.  I can hear some saying, “We don’t pay people to be on SNS, we pay them to work.”  So, let’s run with that school of thought.  We pay people to work, so what if as an employee, I get my work done, it is of good quality, and I engage in SNS during my work day?

What then?

It is my opinion that we take the focus off SNS and put the focus on work productivity.  If I am productive and not distracting, is there a problem?  I think not.  With the invention of smart phones, SNS is accessible to all, all the time.  It seems like attempting to control this is a failed attempt from the get go.  It also appears that SNS, may contribute to a happier more productive employee.  This is a good thing!

My advice: avoid the power struggle and focus on the work.

If you are familiar with the Process Communication Model (PCM), please click this link to see how this correlates with Psychological needs.

Submitted by Jeff King, 316.288.6305

Don’t you just love loaded, indirect questions?  Even the way I worded this question is loaded…because I’ve already decided the “right” answer is YES.

A question is not a question if you already have your mind made up.  If you are hiding your true desires or if you are fishing for a specific answer, it’s a setup. Asking loaded questions leads to second guessing, superficial agreement, resentment, defensiveness, guilt, and negative energy.

If you have an opinion, share it.  If you want something, ask for it.  If you have an idea, articulate it.  Take ownership over what you want and stop expecting others to read your mind.

Questions only work when you are open to learning.  The spirit of a question is CURIOSITY.  If you are curious, inquisitive, and open to learning, your questions won’t be loaded.  They won’t invite defensiveness.  They will build trust and goodwill.  You will learn more, find better solutions, and be a better leader, parent, and friend.

Want to practice curiosity?  Try these four tips:

• Avoid starting your question with a negative (e.g. Don’t, Won’t, Shouldn’t). Instead of “Shouldn’t we give her another chance?” try “Should we give her another chance?”
• Avoid WHY.  Among Five W’s, Why is most likely to come across feeling like interrogation.  Instead of “Why is your report late?” try “Your report is late. What got in the way of you completing it?”
• Get rid of loaded modifiers. Words like exactly, really, precisely, and truly make the question impossible to answer and imply you are looking for perfection.  Instead of “What, exactly, do you mean?” ask “What do you mean?”
• Adjust your body language. In front of a mirror or trusted friend, directly face the person, make eye contact, avoid looking “down on” them.  Practice asking a question and get feedback on how it comes across.

Want to learn more about how to improve your communication? Give us a call, attend a Next Element Process Communication Model seminar, and subscribe to our e-newsletter and blog.