Can I Trust You To Trust Me?

I loved you insightful article here. Trust is a different perpective altogether depending on our personality structure. I will trust someone who’s not very reliable under the condition I feel they are truthful and aware of their flaws + they love and accept mine. Of course my point of view here is related to my Promoter base and Rebel phase identified in Process Communication.

Hi Nate, hope you are all doing well at Next E. I’m wondering if you can expand on your comment that “Trust is about behavior, not expectations.”

I recommend to you a book by Dr. John Gottman, my favorite relationship psychologist: “The Science of Trust.”

I think it depends on what is meant by “seconds to destroy.” It is possible to reach a tolerance point in a person and go past it, thus causing them not to trust anymore. When that happens, Gottman would say the “betrayed” party is likely to “withdraw,” one of his “four horsemen” of disaster in relationships (the other three are Criticism, Contempt & Defensiveness).

I also observe that some people are just not “safe.” Being open to them can lead to lots of damage.

My two cents from the world of conflict/conflict resolution/mediation.

This is a little different than my go-to thought on trust: “Strong as steel; fragile as glass.” All depends on the variables in play.

Who will show us some compassion, tolerance & patience until we’ve made our accounting? Our accountability is nigh on a never ending story. The Trust you are talking about is just an observation of the fact-of-life that we depend upon one another to shore up our individual shortfalls. For one to be thrust out of the supportive community; and thus deemed unworthy of prosperity, rights & freedoms that we think we each deserve, is the travesty of injustice! The will to condemn or punish our companions in life due to a perceived flaw or defect in character, condemns us all. We are all subject to the broadest aspects of human-nature as it is played out upon the World Stage. Of course we can not help but to make the judgments of comparison, our own character and accomplishments next to our peers. So the trick really, is not to avoid making judgments, but to avoid willing negative consequences as a result of those judgments.