Doctors have higher rates of suicide, substance abuse, and burnout than most people.

A large majority of medical residents say they would keep working even if they had vomited all night, saw blood in their urine, or experienced extreme anxiety.

Why? Because doctors are great at denying their own need for care. And, they work in an incredibly high-risk industry.

We’ve been working with physicians, nurses, and healthcare systems for 15 years, and we want to share with you our three most effective tips for staying, or becoming a happier, healthier doctor.

Face Fear

There are two emotional experiences that are so difficult to acknowledge, yet so crucial for health.  And we consistently uncover them lurking beneath most self-sabotaging risk behaviors in doctors.  The first of these is fear.

Fear of litigation. Fear of failure. Fear of letting someone down. Fear of making a mistake. So many aspects of our current healthcare climate create fear, yet it is impossible to fully control. Unless, and until doctors can experience, express, and share their fear with themselves and supportive others, this fear will be buried and come out in predictable ways. Self-righteous attitudes, rigid and dogmatic beliefs, perfectionism, and suspicion. The very thing they crave – to be respected and admired – is sacrificed. Instead, they settle for false power over others, perpetuating the very fear they are avoiding. The ultimate consequence of this behavior is forsaking everyone around them until they are alone.

The second of these key emotional experiences is the acceptance of loss and grief.

Accept Loss and Grief

Most patients have medical problems that will never be fully resolved. Chronic, recurring, life-style problems are the order of the day. This is really sad. And, the life of being a doctor involves incredible loss. Loss of life, loss of control, loss of predictability, loss of health, loss of freedom. A doctor who is able to authentically grieve the sadness of these losses will be healthier and happier. If this grief and loss is denied, predictable negative things will happen. Overworking, attempting to over-control everything and everyone, critical attacks on those who can’t think, obsessive preoccupation with time, money, and fairness. These behaviors are all fruitless attempts to control and prevent loss, and the grief that goes with it. The ultimate consequence of this behavior is even bigger losses. Loss of job, loss of privileges, loss of important relationships.

Invest in Relationships

Doctors work so hard to get where they are. They have passed exams, put in their time, been scrutinized by their peers. The majority of doctors are technically competent in their job. Competence is not the biggest problem.

The most important thing is quality of relationships – with self,  patients, and peers. Happy patients don’t sue. Happy employees do better work. Happy doctors make fewer mistakes. Invest in relationships. Invest in communication skills. Invest in  improving the quality of each and every interaction with the people in your life.

These tips are easier said than done, and it may require professional guidance and support. It will be worth it.

Go be afraid, be sad, and be connected. Your heart, soul,  mind, and patients will thank you.