Obviously…Duh!
Posted on by NateIn our white paper “Three words that can change your life,” we suggested words that seem to predictably spell disaster and rarely occur in helpful and constructive communication.
Well, we’ve found another… “obviously.” We’ve been racking our brains for constructive uses of this word, and haven’t come up with much. “Obviously, we should take this course of action.” “Obviously you haven’t listened to the instructions,” or “Obviously..Duh!” Obviously is used mostly to convey the implicit message, “you are stupid for not understanding this, or seeing it my way.”
Let’s remember that perception is reality..to you and to me. Therefore, things that may seem obvious to one person may not be obvious to another. If three people can witness a crime and have three different stories of what happened, what was obvious about it?
How often do speakers, teachers, even parents begin a sentence with this word or one of its synonyms: evidently, plainly, patently, manifestly, noticeably, unmistakably, undeniably, incontrovertibly, demonstrably, unquestionably, indubitably, undoubtedly, without doubt, doubtless, of course, naturally, needless to say, or it goes without saying? If this is you, what are your true intentions behind it? What is being implied by your use of this word? Are you implying that your way is the only way? You could be subtly undermining another person’s perspective, or even inviting them to go on the defensive and not hear what you are trying to say.
Dig deep, take stock, and see if you can eliminate obviously from your vocabulary. Try replacing it with the phrase “from my perspective…” We predict you will come across as more respectful and will experience improved communication.
Enjoy this tip from Next Element, where our goal is to promote a greener way to communicate!
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