“Look, what I am trying to say is …”

“Look, I think we should scrap the previous plan and go with this plan.”

“Look, I think we should do…”

“If you really look at what I am saying, my facts are indisputable.”

Does the word “look” imply that I am right and you are wrong?  It feels like it does. It feels like “look” implies that my way is the best way.

The word “look” is defined as:  to view or gaze upon.  When I say “look, what I am trying to say is …” am I gazing or viewing something?   No, I am saying that my view and my gaze is the only view and the only gaze to have.  “Look” implies that what I am saying is not only right, it is the only way to see a situation.  Conversation and communication are two-way streets, “look” implies that it is only a one-way street.

How do we live without “look?”  Remove it and share your thought, opinion or feeling.  Examples: “I am trying to to say…”  “I think it would be best if we would…” “The facts that I have gathered say…”  “I feel that… is the best plan of action.”  Being aware of the language that we use will effect the intent of the conversation we are having.  Eliminating “look” eliminates the perception that you are right and the other person is wrong.

Remember that perception is reality and even if you do not intend to give the message that you are right and the other person is wrong, the word “look” projects that perception of you.  The best option is to eliminate using the word “look” in this way, and use it only in the way it was intended.

I invite you to start becoming aware of how the word “look” is being used in your community and how you use it.  Does it change the way you are perceived?  Does it change the way you are perceiving others?

For other insights into how words effect your conversations, interactions and life see these additional NE blogs:

obviously-duh

three-words

Posted on December 7, 2009 by Jeff

This entry was posted in Blog and tagged Communication Skills, Social Intelligence, soft-skills. Bookmark the permalink.