…precise method to improve facilitator skills
“Because of their proficiency with PCM concepts, and their passion for experiential learning methods, I have worked with the team at Next Element to design a customized PCM training curriculum for adventure facilitators. Process Facilitation Seminar offers a highly effective and precise method to improve facilitator skills of connecting, motivating, and managing conflict in group settings. I know of no other curriculum that offers the same level of observable, measurable, actionable, and effective skill-sets.” – Taibi Kahler, President and Founder, Kahler Communications, Inc.
Obviously…Duh!
In our white paper “Three words that can change your life,” we suggested words that seem to predictably spell disaster and rarely occur in helpful and constructive communication.
Well, we’ve found another… “obviously.” We’ve been racking our brains for constructive uses of this word, and haven’t come up with much. “Obviously, we should take this course of action.” “Obviously you haven’t listened to the instructions,” or “Obviously..Duh!” Obviously is used mostly to convey the implicit message, “you are stupid for not understanding this, or seeing it my way.”
Let’s remember that perception is reality..to you and to me. Therefore, things that may seem obvious to one person may not be obvious to another. If three people can witness a crime and have three different stories of what happened, what was obvious about it?
How often do speakers, teachers, even parents begin a sentence with this word or one of its synonyms: evidently, plainly, patently, manifestly, noticeably, unmistakably, undeniably, incontrovertibly, demonstrably, unquestionably, indubitably, undoubtedly, without doubt, doubtless, of course, naturally, needless to say, or it goes without saying? If this is you, what are your true intentions behind it? What is being implied by your use of this word? Are you implying that your way is the only way? You could be subtly undermining another person’s perspective, or even inviting them to go on the defensive and not hear what you are trying to say.
Dig deep, take stock, and see if you can eliminate obviously from your vocabulary. Try replacing it with the phrase “from my perspective…” We predict you will come across as more respectful and will experience improved communication.
Enjoy this tip from Next Element, where our goal is to promote a greener way to communicate!
Leadership and Rules of Engagement
Company policies about employee conduct can only go so far because they are imposed from above – and few people truly internalize external rules. In other blogs we’ve written about the futility of trying to control behavior, especially for those creative “out of the box” thinkers. One of the most important aspects of vibrant, accountable, respectful, and productive work cultures is the presence of behavioral norms, or “rules of engagement.” These are the guidelines that employees create together, enforce together, and internalize for themselves and their peers. A core competency of a good leader is the ability to facilitate behavioral norms for their group. All of our work with teams includes the co-creation of behavioral norms, and coaching in how to develop, define, and enforce these norms within the team.
For an example of one company using behavioral norms, click here.