Socratic dialogue is all about asking good questions.  In fact, education in its purest form is about asking great questions.

This is fine when the questions come from a place of curiosity and a desire to facilitate learning and empowerment.  When opinions, entitlement, and expectations are behind the question, it all crumbles.  The question becomes a weapon for maintaining authority and superiority, creating dependence, and supporting hierarchy and oppressive traditions.

If you are a teacher, mentor, trainer or facilitator, check your intentions at the door and go back to asking great questions that inspire learning while maintaining integrity.

You Don’t Get Credit for the Answer: You Get Credit for the Question!

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6174

“What if we try that and then everyone wants one?”

“What if they come back with even more demands?”

“What if…” may be one of the most effective ways to hijack possibility and potential.  It is human nature to anticipate, plan, prepare, and be ready.  There is nothing wrong with that – it helps us prevent potential catastrophes.  However, when the ability to imagine future scenarios incessantly focuses on worst-case scenarios, innovation stops and positive energy fizzles out.  The trouble with “what if…” is that it rarely ever happens, rarely could happen, and has almost no evidence in its favor.  It’s usually the construction of a pessimist who’s afraid to try something new or believe that clouds don’t have silver linings.

Energy flows where attention goes. What if, instead, you paid attention to what could be?

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6174

Responding requires presence of mind, perspective, self-awareness, and a sense of one’s environment.  Response-able leaders pair experience with new learning and practice to give them a repertoire of options from which to chose.  They never say things like, “I had no choice,” or “You left me no option.”  They are response-able because they know they always have choices, and aren’t afraid to own them.  They face challenges with confidence because they have learned to turn mistakes into stepping stones for success.

Are you response-able?  What leadership skills do you want improve?  How will you gain a new experience, challenge yourself to grow, and increase your repertoire of response options?

Submitted by:

Nate Regier, Ph.D., Trainer and Co-Owner

316.772.6714

Just when you think you have the ideal team formed, someone moves on.  Or, perhaps you’re trying to create that perfect team.  I’d like to share a few qualities that stood out for me in this article.

• Remarkable employees ignore job descriptions.  They do not see themselves defined by a description.  They quickly adjust to priorities and do whatever it takes to get the job at hand completed.
• They privately complain.  We want issues brought to our attention, yet some things are better handled in private.
• They are always fiddling.  Although they follow processes, remarkable employees also find ways to make processes better, tweak a timeline, improve a procedure, etc.

These qualities have nothing to do with technical skills, rather an attitude and approach to how they do their job.

Can these remarkable attributes be taught? what happens when your employees are performing in unremarkable ways and you want to see it change? Look no further than Next Element Consulting right here in the Wichita Metro area.  There are times to let an employee go, and other times warrant an investment in that employee or team.  From pre-employment assessment, to executive performance coaching, to leadership development training, Next Element has the expertise to help you find and develop remarkable employees.

Retaining remarkable employees is also very important. I’m fortunate in that I get to see many businesses call our company, Above & Beyond Corporate Gifts when they want to express their appreciation.  We are already helping businesses make their selections for Administrative Professionals’ Day April 25.  Once a year is great, and I would like to encourage acts of appreciation to be shown proactively throughout the year.  Affirmation comes in many forms, and we can help.

If developing and retaining remarkable employees is a goal of yours, give Next Element a call.

Guest blog by:

Don’t you just love loaded, indirect questions?  Even the way I worded this question is loaded…because I’ve already decided the “right” answer is YES.

A question is not a question if you already have your mind made up.  If you are hiding your true desires or if you are fishing for a specific answer, it’s a setup. Asking loaded questions leads to second guessing, superficial agreement, resentment, defensiveness, guilt, and negative energy.

If you have an opinion, share it.  If you want something, ask for it.  If you have an idea, articulate it.  Take ownership over what you want and stop expecting others to read your mind.

Questions only work when you are open to learning.  The spirit of a question is CURIOSITY.  If you are curious, inquisitive, and open to learning, your questions won’t be loaded.  They won’t invite defensiveness.  They will build trust and goodwill.  You will learn more, find better solutions, and be a better leader, parent, and friend.

Want to practice curiosity?  Try these four tips:

• Avoid starting your question with a negative (e.g. Don’t, Won’t, Shouldn’t). Instead of “Shouldn’t we give her another chance?” try “Should we give her another chance?”
• Avoid WHY.  Among Five W’s, Why is most likely to come across feeling like interrogation.  Instead of “Why is your report late?” try “Your report is late. What got in the way of you completing it?”
• Get rid of loaded modifiers. Words like exactly, really, precisely, and truly make the question impossible to answer and imply you are looking for perfection.  Instead of “What, exactly, do you mean?” ask “What do you mean?”
• Adjust your body language. In front of a mirror or trusted friend, directly face the person, make eye contact, avoid looking “down on” them.  Practice asking a question and get feedback on how it comes across.

Want to learn more about how to improve your communication? Give us a call, attend a Next Element Process Communication Model seminar, and subscribe to our e-newsletter and blog.

Accountability is about follow through.  Doing what you say you will do, finishing what you start.  At the most basic level, accountability boils down to motive, or intention.  Intention that is made overt, aligned with desires, and acted upon results in accountability.

Accountability falls apart when intentions are not dealt with appropriately:

• when competing intentions hijack desired outcomes;
• when an intention to follow through is assumed instead of clarified;
• when ulterior intentions are assumed;
• when real intentions are held secret.

Closing channels holds others accountable.
Closing channels is one of the most powerful ways to clarify intentions, and make overt the ulterior motives that can interfere with accountability.  And, it sends the message to others that they can count on you to respond to the best intentions.  Each channel has only one true/best intention behind it.

Channel               Motive/Intention
Emotive                 To play and accept unconditionally
Nurturative           To care without strings attached
Requestive            To ask without expectations
Directive                To command without attack

When you close a channel enthusiastically, authentically, and sincerely – using all five behavioral cues for the complimenting part, you accept, and therefore make overt the best and true intention of that channel.  No guesswork.  No assumptions.  No ulterior motives.

For example, your partner opens the Nurturative Channel with “I love you.”  You close with a sincere and appreciative “Thank you!” using all five behavioral cues.  By closing the channel, you lift up the intention of caring without strings attached.  If this was not the other person’s intention, their bluff has been called by your response.  You have sent the process message, “If you use this channel, I will count on you to follow through with caring – taking you at face value.  If this is not your intention, don’t use this channel with me.”

The key message: Close channels. Be consistent, be authentic, take people at face value, and you will raise accountability with all those around you.

Learn how to open and close channels with all personality types by attending a Next Element Process Communication Model Seminar.

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Every year we attend the annual international conference for the Association for Challenge Course Technology (ACCT), a gathering of the best and brightest in challenge course design and construction, canopy tours, and zip lines. As Jeff mentioned in his recent blog (link to blog), all signs point to growth in this industry.

Next Element doesn’t operate a challenge course. We don’t build zip lines. We don’t supply equipment to anyone in this industry. So why are we involved? The answer lies deep within the Costa Rican jungle on the side of a volcano. (click here to read rest of the story)

On a recent trip to Costa Rica, my wife and I, along with her sister and husband, enjoyed a wonderful zip tour on the side of Arenal Volcano. Flying through a 200 foot high tropical jungle, seeing monkeys, and learning about the forest canopy ecosystem was a treat. Zipping 45 mph across a 1/4 mile span of cable was exhilarating.  And, the views of lake Arenal from a 4000 ft elevation were breathtaking!

You know what really made the day though? Our two tour facilitators. Of course they were competent, attended to safety, and helped us feel secure. What was special, however, was how they attended to our needs, paid close attention to each one of us, and “learned” our personalities along the way. They had an uncanny skill in quickly forming relationships with us and then using this to customize our experience accordingly.

This is why we are invested in the challenge course industry. Because as the market grows, the zip lines get longer and taller, and the adrenaline rush more outrageous, what will eventually separate the best from the rest is the interpersonal skill of the facilitators.

People pay for compelling experiences that don’t just leave them breathless, but leave them altered in meaningful ways. They pay for relationships that transform how they see the world and themselves. We predict that as the competition heats up, the ultimate differentiation won’t be the length of your zip line or the height of your climbing tower, but the soft-skills of your facilitators.  We do what we do so we can equip facilitators to change the world, one person, one experience at a time.

We are ready with the tools and training to meet this need.

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“Earth to space, come in space…” Before you apply your Process Communication Model knowledge to conquering the world, how about starting with the most fundamental challenge in your life – responding to what is right in front of you.  The discipline of PCM is about mastering the art of taking people at face value, of “seeing them for who they are,” and honoring it.  Check out our interactive PCM website!

PCM offers tools for you to decode words, tones, postures, gestures, and facial expressions and adapt your approach to precisely compliment the receiver.  Doing this well will transform your patient satisfaction metrics, employee engagement scores, and lead to more fulfilling relationships.

First, learn to take people at face value.  Then let’s schedule a time to discuss changing the world!

Attend a Next Element PCM Seminar

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Sometime all it means is that you aren’t doing anything uncomfortable or different.  In this case, you are sitting down on the job of life.  A higher level of authenticity involves standing up, and taking responsibility for your entire life, and your entire personality, all your potential.

Process Communication describes six unique personality types within each person, arranged in order of preference, much like the floors of a condominium.  Your BASE floor is present near birth and determines your preferred communication style throughout your life.  Your PHASE floor predicts how you are motivated, and how you get negative attention when you are in distress.  Then, there’s a whole lot more that often gets overlooked.

I recently had the pleasure of participating in a Process Communication Model seminar led by Jerome Lefeuvre of Kahler Communication, France.  We explored what it means to “stand up in your condo.”  We were taken through an exercise that helped us explore our signature strengths from each floor of our personality condo.  We shared stories of things we were proud of, sought feedback from peers, and became more familiar with the less visited floors in our own condominium.

Stand Up. Stand Tall.
You are more than your base and phase.  You are more than your strongly developed floors.  You are a whole person with six floors, a unique constellation of gifts, perspectives, and abilities.  When you stand up in your condo, develop and use the character strengths from bottom to top, you open up all sorts of new perspectives and possibilities.

Authenticity is more than sticking with what you know.  It’s about growing into your full self and sharing that with the world.

So don’t limit yourself with old-school authenticity.  You aren’t too old, too stuck, too tired, or too successful.  Stand up, look around, and reach for your true, fullest self.

Attend a Next Element Seminar and find out your PCM Structure.

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About every three years we get one of those storms in Kansas that dumps several inches of rain in an hour or two.  Streets are like rivers, ditches are overflowing onto the streets, and yards look like lakes.  If your gutters aren’t flowing freely, rainwater will run over the edges, right down the side of your foundation, and flood your basement in a hurry.  Even the best sump pumps struggle to keep up.

Miraculously, I’m still alive.  Never mind that there were two or three HUNDRED sunny days when I could have safely cleaned my gutters.  Somehow I seem to get motivated only when tragedy is imminent, and I put myself at high risk to fix the situation.

Is this how you tend to your gutters?  Do you let the little leaves and debris in your life pile up until there’s a crisis?  Do you wait to fix things until doing so puts you in danger?  Maybe you procrastinate, avoid, or just dismiss the little things that aren’t fun, take a little extra effort, or sidetrack you from the important things of the day.  Most likely, the clogged gutters in your life cause even the small rains to soak your basement.

Today, make a commitment to clean your gutters.  Maybe it’s a messy desk, an apology that’s long overdue, a software upgrade, quality time with your kids.  Take time out of your sunny day to joyfully and mindfully clean the gutters of your life so that when it rains AND pours, you can stay inside and enjoy the safety and comfort of your home.

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