Who is “we?”  Have you ever heard statements like these at home and work:  “We should really do something about that!” “We need to make a decision‚” “We should get this done by Friday‚” “We need to do a better job of keeping the house clean.”

“We” has you leaving the conversation wondering who’s we, and whose doing what?  It also can be interpreted as a passive tactic, of not asserting what you really feel/think/believe, or a defensive move for avoiding conflict or responsibility.  Either way, it leads to miscommunication.

So here is what you can do if “we” shows up in conversation.   First, trust intentions.  Stay curious, wanting and waiting to listen and understand.  Second, openly, and without opinion or assumption, ask for clarification.  (If you’ve already formed an opinion, judgment or assumption, it’s tough to be truly open.)

If you have been trained in the Process Communication Model (PCM), you know we are also talking about using appropriate parts and channels (what’s in front of you?) in how you ask for clarification.

Rest assured that if you do nothing, “we” will keep hanging around and tasks will never get completed… because “we” doesn’t do anything.  A frog could get more done.  If you want to know more about the PCM, give us a shout. Ribbit.

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Your title is like a window of opportunity to connect, motivate, listen to understand, and model healthy conflict, which carries a responsibility beyond having the final say.

These are familiar phrases in the corporate climate.  The message is loud and clear over and over, you’re not okay, or you’d be okay if only, it’s like you are invited into a vortex that is relived daily.  Over time, you start to know your role/position in the game.  Or, should we say, you are seasoned, thicker skinned to deal with the climate.  If you are arriving for the first time, don’t worry, someone will let you know what you can expect and how to prepare for the corporate weather conditions.

As a trainer, facilitator, and coach in this climate, I have been grateful for all the advice and forecasts about the conditions. I have also realized that none of the above is healthy, productive behavior that leads to positive growth.

There is an alternative for all of us, no matter where we sit.  It is to be Persistent, Resourceful and Open.  On a clear, sunny day in the corporate climate we see Persistence and Resourcefulness quite often, and it’s still not sufficient.  To be Open is the rarity in the corporate climate.  It takes courage, the willingness to look inside, to be vulnerable, open to feedback, learning from mistakes, accepting others’ values that are different from yours, and getting over yourself (ego).  Openness breeds the ability to relate and create, and all voices are welcome.  Rare as it may seem, it too is not enough alone.

It takes all three – Persistence, Resourcefulness, and Openness – to create a stable, healthier corporate climate, and it sounds and looks a little like this: “I know you can do it,” “Thank you,” “I trust your ability to come up with a solution,” “Keep going, you’ve got my support,” or “It’s okay, I’m not sure either…we will figure this out together.”

What a different experience and climate to work in, and how inviting!

My first day at the Experiential Training and Development (ETDA) Summit in San Diego was a day with Marshall Goldsmith, and if you are not sure who Marshall Goldsmith is, no worries, you can look him up later.  I was so excited, full of all kinds of “wants,” like a kid in a candy store and boy howdy, did I leave with my bag full!!  I was very appreciative of his style, very laid back and at the same time direct and to the point, take it or leave it, your choice.   It was great to watch his ability to not get hooked into content, or let other agendas influence the process.  When he did not have a working knowledge of something, he calmly stated, “I do not know” or “I am not an expert.”  How refreshing!!

It was a great reminder, and an invitation, to know what you are good at, and permission to not take on others’ expectations.

He laid out a structure for us that was focused on us learning to listen.  It was a process that was so simple and elegant, and at the same time it required us to focus and to be intentionally “present.”
There were all kinds of goodies available that day, and one more goody to share is “feedforward.”  Feedforward is a suggestion or idea we can put into practice in the future.  No conversations of past mistakes, no judgments, no should-have, could-have, just from-NOW-forward suggestions.  As a group we were able to practice this process by picking something we wanted to get better at.  We then moved around the room giving and getting feedforward.  My role when receiving feedforward was to listen, and be grateful by saying “thank you,” without placing judgments, responding, or agreeing, just simply thanking them.  My role when giving feedforward was to listen without judgment and then offer ideas for the future.  It was an intimate experience of being open, persistent and resourceful with each other.

Thank you Marshall!

Goals. Going beyond a dollar figure, goals such as building a social/emotional healthy organization, or giving back to society through work, these are some of the ways purpose is brought into organizational goals.

Words.  Listening to how someone is using words can be very telling.  One example used in the book is from Robert B. Reich, former U.S. labor secretary.  He called it the “pronoun test.”  When he visits a workplace, he asks the employees  some questions about their company.  He listens for the pronouns they use.  Do the workers refer to the company as “they” or “we?”  “They” and “we” companies are very different places, he says.  The “we” company is one that employees are most likely to experience autonomy, mastery and purpose.

Policies.  Pink says, “between the words businesses use and the goals they seek sit the policies they implement to turn the former into the latter.” However, this can be a slippery slope of good intentions with ill consequences. Unfortunately implementing policies may do little to improve or change behavior in the work place.  At NE, it is our belief that sometimes policies are written to avoid conflict.  Healthy conflict can be a source of discovering creative ways to bring purpose into the work place.  With policies, employees may meet the minimal standards to avoid punishment – without ever discovering a sense of purpose in their work.

Pink gave the following example as a method for enlisting the power of autonomy in a purpose-centered policy.  Physicians in high-profile settings, like the Mayo Clinic, were allowed to spend 20% of their time with purpose, spending one day a week on the aspect of their job that was the most meaningful to them.  The conclusion of the study found that those doctors were half as likely to experience job burn-out.

In closing, Pink says,”A healthy society – and healthy business organizations – begins with purpose and considers profit as a way to move toward that end, or a happy by-product of its attainment.“  “The science shows that the secret to high performance… is our deep-seated desire to direct our own lives, to extend and expand our abilities, and to live a life of purpose.”

My perception and experience as a business owner sees this chapter as very validating for where we are and where we are going as NE.  From day one we wanted to create a business model that complimented who we are, and focused on authentically practicing what we train and facilitate for others.

This chapter is all about going from compliance-to-engagement, as a road to mastery.   Of course there is a lot more involved in this chapter, it is just funny where I am sitting right now on that continuum.  As a business owner I am totally on board to work towards our business goals and towards success, yet when blogging I often feel drained and unengaged.    I really want to be on the other end of the continuum, engaged, motivated, experiencing “flow” while blogging.

So here is what I am applying that I have learned from this chapter.  Mastery is a mindset, “Whether you think you can or you can’t, you’re right,” as stated by Henry Ford.  My belief in my capabilities shapes how I approach tasks like blogging.

Mastery can be painful!   The path to mastery, to become ever better at something you care about, is not lined with daisies and spanned by a rainbow.  If it were, more of us would make the trip.  Mastery hurts sometimes… even many times… it’s not much fun.  I totally resonate with that!!

I care about our company and will do the not-so-pleasant stuff (e.g., blogging) to own my responsibility in our company’s success.  The final law of mastery is that mastery is an asymptote – a constant approaching without ever quite reaching it.  You can zero in on it, get really, really, really close to it, but you can never touch it.  How frustrating, reaching for something that you never can attain!!  However, mastery is also a source of allure, the excitement of pursuing it may be more fulfilling that the final realization of it.

This is totally about the process I create in my pursuit of mastery, it has to be colored with my style and flavor when I blog.  How I get to where I am going has to be shaped by me, and it is crazy how I am feeling myself move on the continuum towards engagement, simply by working through this blog!  I think I will start another blog right now…

just kidding!!!

In chapter 4 of his book, “Drive,” Daniel Pink talks about autonomy.  He explains autonomy as being self-directed, acting with choice, while being happily interdependent with others.  He also refers to “ROWE,” which means, Results Only Work Environment.  This concept was created by Cali Ressler and Jody Thompson, two former human resources executives at the American retailer, Best Buy.

In ROWE, work is not managed, it just has to get done.  How, when, and where, is up to each person.  People continue to have specific goals to reach, and time lines for completing those goals, however, they are given a lot of autonomy as to how they achieve the needed result.

I really resonated with this concept of focusing on the result, and having a work environment that supports each persons’ unique gifts and motivators, giving myself permission to be there for my children after school, and know that I can be a professional business woman at the same time… it’s so energizing and affirming!

I believe everyone is seeking autonomy in some form.  From time-to-time, everyone wishes they could attend a child’s school event, take advantage of a sunny day for some golf, or carve out a couple of hours to read and be inspired by a book.  And to know you can do these things without worry, and know your supervisors and/or peers support your choices, provides an overall sense of autonomy that has a powerful effect on individual performance and attitude.  I also believe healthy autonomy contributes greatly to overall health.

The PCM is about types in people, not types of people.  The PCM profile is merely an initial way for us to get a handle on all the mechanics of personality.  And from that foundation, we begin to understand how we experience others – their choice of words, tones, gestures, posture, facial expressions.  We learn to recognize the internal processes that we go through, and ways that we work toward getting our needs met in both positive and negative ways.  PCM provides real, hands-on strategies to accurately and rapidly observe behaviors and language of personality structure, and from there we can connect and motivate for effective, accountable communication behavior.

We have always believed that once you have gone through this training and are committed to being intentional around applying and using PCM, it is not necessary to have the profiles of those around you in order to achieve healthy communication.  You will see and hear what is in front of you, and you will be able to effectively connect with and motivate others.

Thanks again Andrea, for your words of wisdom.

One of the challenges facilitators and trainers face is knowing at what point coping with stress, in your participants or in yourself,  has turned into nonproductive distress behaviors.  Distress behaviors often create the potential for harm to self and others. The transition from stress to distress is a crossroads for the facilitator and participants. Both paths lead towards getting a need met, however one route is healthier than the other.

The healthy route is when we see our self and our participants connecting with and motivating each other, open to outcomes  and able to see the potential of each others’ strengths, ideas, and even humor. The unhealthy choice happens when distress begins to take over and non-productive behaviors show evidence that people are attempting to get needs met in negative ways. Storming, mis-communication, blaming, inability to see potential in each others’ ideas, and conflicting perceptions on desired outcomes are exhibited.

Trainers and facilitators who connect and motivate through words, gestures, postures, tones and facial expressions create healthier learning environments where participant needs can being met through healthy communication. This process of communication creates an environment where comfort zones are stretched, stretch zones are made safer, and conflict can lead to creative solutions. Healthy risk-taking is explored and groups tend to safety with each other while working through group conflict.

Process Communication Model (PCM) training for facilitators and consultants teaches how to recognize and respond to words, tones, postures, gestures, and facial expressions that precisely compliment the receiver in a manner that engages and motivates.   At Next Element we practice this approach in facilitating and train other professionals to do the same.  -JR

My thoughts are yes!!  The following are some methods that I have used over the years when holding staff and supervisor meetings.  My first realization years ago was that not everyone felt the same sense of accomplishment or excitement by just checking things off a list as I did.  I would walk away feeling great, we had worked hard and the time was well spent.  However, my staff would walk away looking drained and ready to call it a day.  What was going on?

Here is what I realized I was doing that wasn’t energizing to my staff – all our meetings were the same place, the same time, the same format, you get the picture.  I started moving my meeting time around breakfast or lunch and added 15-30 minutes for eating.  My staff enjoyed the change, and the social time before the meeting.  We then began to occasionally leave the office for the meetings, opting for different local restaurants where we could meet.   One advantage of working with a small group is that everyone can ride in one your car, so the meeting starts as soon as you’re in the car.  I also let go of making these logistical decisions and let the staff decide – which gave them a sense of ownership in the process.  One time we ended up 30 minutes away in Wichita at Panera Bread!

I quickly learned the more energized they were, the more productive they were, and we seemed to get through our agenda quicker with the same quality.  Staff started taking ownership for the quality of meeting time.  They would come up with additional ideas to add excitement and motivation to the meetings, such as the last one to the meeting brings a snack to the next meeting, or having a quick, fun and meaningful activity before we started on our agenda.

I think it is easy for staff to come up with ideas on how to add excitement to meetings.  You can give your staff the permission and empowerment to own the process and the outcome, while still getting to the bottom line, and HOW you get there can be an exciting process and team-building experience.