Dealing with Ungrateful Employees; Untouchable Leaders ask Impossible Questions; New Staff Announcement; Nate promoted to Master Certifying Trainer; Hot Wings with John Parr and Taibi Kahler…

Dealing with Ungrateful Employees

You’re a fixer. You see needs and dive into the solution. You are so perceptive that you don’t even have to be asked. And, you are frequently resentful that people don’t appreciate your help. You’ve developed a martyr complex and might even grumble under your breath “After all I’ve done for them, they are so ungrateful.”

Problem is, they didn’t ask for your help. They may not even want it. And, you didn’t include them in the decision. Do you want more gratitude from those in your life? Stop trying to fix them, ask them first, and be a resource instead of a rescuer.

Untouchable Leaders ask Impossible Questions

An effective way to become untouchable is to ask impossible questions. There are few things more confusing and demoralizing to your employees than when you are indirect, ask questions where you already know the “right answer,” or ask them in such a way as to keep employees guessing. Here are a few examples with more appropriate alternatives:

Impossible Question: “Don’t you think you’ve spent enough time on that?”
Appropriate Alternative: “I believe you’ve spent enough time on that.”

Impossible Question: “What, exactly, did you mean?”
Appropriate Alternative: “What did you mean?”

If you are struggling to get people to talk to you, open up to you, or answer your questions, the problem may be that you are putting the answer out of reach. It’s OK to challenge your employees to learn, discover, and struggle to grow. It’s not OK to put the “right” answer out of reach so you can watch them struggle.

We are honored to announce the addition of Aaron Chappell Deckert to the Next Element team effective July 1st.  Aaron is returning to the U.S. after 3 years in Colombia.  He comes to us with 3 years experience as a PCM Trainer, a master’s degree in organizational development, and is fluent in Spanish.  We look forward to introducing him to everyone in-person!

Communication Tips

We’re diving into Google+ head first, and we invite you to join us!  Join Jeff on May 14th for his first “Chatting with Jeff” live video conference!  Open to anyone that has been through any Process Communication Model (PCM) training.  For more details visit our website Calendar.  Your next chance will be June 25.

Public Seminars

PCM Core CompetencyTraining, August 6 – 8, Newton KS

Advanced PCM Conflict Resolution Seminar, August 9 – 10, Newton KS

PCM Trainer Certification, August 13 – 17, Newton KS

For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com

And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

(click for more info)

Announcement

We are quite proud of our very own Nate Regier, upon receiving this recent press release from Kahler Communications, Inc:

“We want to extend our congratulations to John Parr and Nate Regier, who have just completed certification with Taibi Kahler as Certifying Master Trainers.

What is a “Certifying Master Trainer”?

A Certifying Master Trainer is someone authorized by KCI to evaluate and certify PCM experts as Certifying Trainers in the US and Master Trainers in the rest of the world.  They act as agents of KCI and, in licensed territories, perform their services in consultation with the owners of the territorial PCM licenses.

The selection and certification of John and Nate is part of KCI’s ongoing efforts to ensure continuity for PCM as a methodology and a business in the future.”

To which we say, “Way to go Nate!  Let’s have a celebration party!!”

Hot Wings Update

“The wings at Last Chance Lakeside Cafe were…well…pretty much just fried chicken. Rob Wert, Executive VP & COO of Kahler Communications, Inc., tried to convince me that there was some buffalo flavoring on them, but I didn’t taste it. I trust he’s probably right because my taste threshold is pretty distorted. They were crispy on the outside, plump and juicy on the inside, and the blue cheese dressing was great. I’d give them a 3/5.” – Nate

John Parr, Process Communications UK

Taibi Kahler, Kahler Communications Inc., Hot Springs, Arkansas

Next Element helps companies to communicate effectively.

Chatting, Elevating and Golfing

“An expectation, as they say, is a resentment waiting to happen.” – Jon Carroll

We tend to agree with Jon Carroll.  For more on our thoughts about expecting, read Nate’s posts: Want vs. Expect, Hanging Out With the Stars, and Jeff’s post: To Versus With

Facebook Elevates Mood
Did you know that allowing employees to participate in social networking (while at work), may actually increase productivity?
Curious?  Read this recent blog post by Jeff: Facebook Elevates Mood

Golf with UL of Kansas
On April 16, at Sand Creek Station in Newton KS – there will be a “Swing for Success” Urban League of Kansas golf tournament-fund raiser.  If you hurry, you may still be able to join Jeff and other friends out on this gorgeous golf course for a good cause!

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

(click here for more info)

Hot Wings Update
This month’s Hot Wing Update comes from Jamie Estill, principal of MUSE School, California.  “These Fiery Killer Wings from Wood Ranch BBQ and Grill (woodranch.com) in Agoura Hills, CA, should be code named “Asian Porky Zing”… Crispy with a sweet Asian chile dipping sauce, meaty and tender without being too mushy. Texture and tenderness were outstanding; heat was not up to the name, so 4/5 on your rating scale.”

Communication Tips
We’re diving into Google+ head first, and we invite you to join us!  Join Jeff on May 14th for his first “Chatting with Jeff” live audio conference!  Open to anyone that has been through any Process Communication Model (PCM) training.  For more details visit our website Calendar.

Process and the Medical Model
“My experience and research has convinced me that PTM is a model that simultaneously supports the positive aspects of the Medical Model, builds a bridge to transcend outdated assumptions and knowledge, supports current best practices in behavioral health treatment, and suggests bold new directions for the future.”  Please read the rest of this White Paper by Nate, “Process Therapy Model, The Medical Model, and the Future of Behavioral Health.”

Public Seminars
Intro to PCM, May 5, Calabasas CA
PCM Core Competency,  May 7-9, Calabasas CA
PCM Advanced, May 11-12, Calabasas CA
Process Facilitation, May 14-16, Birch Run MI
NEOS Certification, May 18, Newton KS
For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar.

And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Don will be presenting on his ICore propietary program with special focus on skills-based training in three specific disciplines;

influence

lead-generation

accountability

FREE attendance is extended to Next Element friends and clients, courtesy of PKM Steel.

Date: Saturday, April 28

Time: 8:00 am-5:00 pm

RSVP: BY APRIL 20th to Gerald.divelbiss@pkmsteel.com

More About Don

Don Spini, Author of the Best-Selling book, Sixty-Seconds to Yes.   Don has development systems that will assist any committed individual in taking the necessary steps to be successful in today’s environment.

Don brings with him 25 years of successful leadership, sales and sales management experience from both a corporate perspective and as an entrepreneur at the highest level.

When success is no longer an option, failure is no longer a choice, you are left with trying to achieve greatness.

Have you attended an Next Element Seminar?

If so, here’s an opportunity to chat with, and ask Jeff questions.

For 1-hour, you and 9 other individuals will be in a chat room with Jeff King.  This chat room will be a Q & A, and discussion in a video-conference format.  No question is out-of-bounds, and if you have been to a Next Element seminar you are eligible to participate.  We can talk about communication, drama, change, motivation… anything goes!

How do I sign up?

•     Get a Google+ account (you have to have a Gmail account to do this)
•     Find Jeff King and join “NE Chat”
•     E-mail Jeff King at jeff@next-element.com to reserve a space
•     Video chat and webcam is required
•     When the day arrives for the chat session, log into your Google+ account and join
the NE Chat circle and the action will begin!

When are they?  May 14, June 25, July 16 – 2:30pm Central DST

How do I pay?  Oh yea and how much? $40 per chat session

When you reserve your space with Jeff, you will receive an invoice from Michele (michele@next-element.com).  You may pay by snail-mail or PayPal.

What if I have questions as to how to get started?  E-mail Jeff@next-element.com

It’s time for that annual review and you’ve got some tough feedback to give. You are concerned that it will not go well because of ongoing drama between you and the employee, or perhaps the employee’s difficulty receiving constructive feedback. You know that your executive team is avoiding conflict around key performance and personnel issues that are holding back your company’s progress. Yet you are concerned that nobody on your team knows how to handle this conflict in a productive way.

Introducing, Feedback, Conflict, and Accountability: Strategies for Positive Change, a new seminar to help you become a more effective change agent.   This one or two-day seminar will help you identify what’s going on, how to respond most effectively, and how to follow-through on tough conversations without losing your cool.

Click here for a detailed seminar outline

Viva la Dreamers!

Want to “get inside” a Dreamer’s head?  Check out this link to a terrific Ted Talk by author Susan Cain, titled “The Power of Introverts.”

GotProcess Poll

Our apologies, we didn’t get the link included last month so we are re-posting this winning poll question: “What is it like when you have a Reactor/Persister base/phase combo?”

We invited two of our clients to illustrate through personal examples, what it’s like to have Persister/Reactor base/phase combinations. Thank you to Randy (Reactor Base/Persister Phase) and Rebecca (Persister Base/Reactor Phase) for your heartfelt and poignant stories. (click here to read on…)

On the Road Again

Hot Wings Update

Jeff shared the following with us:  “Hot wings at ESPN Zone in Staples Center, downtown Los Angeles. Watched Lehigh beat Duke, then Lakers beat Minnesota. Good wings, good games.”

Smart Ap – PocketPCM

Owning Your Potency
The winner of our December-January E-News contest is Ryan Hoopes!  His entry starts…
“Wow, this article could not have come at a more perfect time. I encountered a situation last Friday night that fits perfectly with this article. This is the first time I have heard the phrase “own your potency” and I love it! I coach a high school girls basketball team.” Click here to read the rest of the story…

We Love Adventure!
“People pay for compelling experiences that don’t just leave them breathless, but leave them altered in meaningful ways. They pay for relationships that transform how they see the world and themselves.”

Every year we attend the annual international conference for the Association for Challenge Course Technology (ACCT), a gathering of the best and brightest in challenge course design and construction, canopy tours, and zip lines. As Jeff mentioned in his recent blog, all signs point to growth in this industry.  Next Element doesn’t operate a challenge course. We don’t build zip lines. We don’t supply equipment to anyone in this industry. So why are we involved? The answer lies deep within the Costa Rican jungle on the side of a volcano.  Click here to read rest of the story…

GotProcess Poll
Winning poll question: “What is it like when you have a Reactor/Persister base/phase combo?”

We invited two of our clients to illustrate through personal examples, what it’s like to have Persister/Reactor base/phase combinations. Thank you to Randy (Reactor Base/Persister Phase) and Rebecca (Persister Base/Reactor Phase) for your heartfelt and poignant stories.  Click here to read on…

Public Seminars
Facilitating Self-Efficacy, March 7 – 8, Newton KS
NEOS Certification, March 9, Newton KS
PCM Core Competency, March 12 – 14, Newton KS
Intro to PCM, March 14, Calabasas CA
PCM Advanced, March 15 – 16, Newton KS

For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com
And remember, you are always welcome to repeat any of our seminars (provided we have room) for only $50

Hot Wings Siting!
We received yet another Hot Wings siting from our friend Abe Regier.  (We love Abe, AND is anyone else out there eating hot wings??)

From our 2012 challenge, to procure hot wing sitings from the top 10 locations comes Pluckers, Dallas -
“4.5/5 – Tried the popular Baker’s Gold, and Fire in the Hole wings- both excellent. The Baker’s Gold were a sweet bbq with lingering heat, and Fire in the Hole were the hottest commercial wing I’ve had. After 5 my lips were on fire and I was sweating like crazy. High marks for the heat!”

(The picture kinda says it all, doesn’t it?)

Thank you Abe!

“Wow, this article could not have come at a more perfect time. I encountered a situation last Friday night that fits perfectly with this article. This is the first time I have heard the phrase “own your potency” and I love it! I coach a high school girls basketball team.

This year our motto is “Drive.” Our focus has been on trying to get the girls to be intrinsically motivated to achieve…not for me, or for anyone else…but to achieve for themselves, to “Drive” themselves, not to have to be “driven” by someone else.  I frequently ask them, “Are you driving yourself, or are you being driven?” Anyway, to make a long story short, last Friday night before our basketball game one of my girls (who is also one of my team leaders) came up to me before the game and said, “If we don’t win tonight coach, I will quit,” and stuck her hand out for me to shake.  At first I just smiled and said yeah right.  She replied by saying, “What coach, you don’t have faith in us? You think we might lose…you doubting us?” She then smiled but kept her hand out for me to shake it.  After realizing what she was doing I smiled back.  She was showing her “efficacy.”  In her eyes, she really believed that her efforts and abilities would win us that game.

We lost the game by 3 points.  Contrary to her promise she made, that she would quit if we did not win, she is still playing.  I know that was just her way of telling me that she was confident and would not let me down.

On a final note, this article pertains to what I’ve been trying to preach to the girls all year long.  I am going to have each of them read it and give me a response to it, in hopes that we can move towards “owning our potency.”  Regardless, we were all really down (including myself) after losing Friday night, this article was exactly what I needed to brighten my day.  I know it will be a positive thing for our team!  I cant wait to read the next article, “Managing Failure When You are POTENT.”  If anyone has any other suggestions or comments to help us to improve to “own our potency” let me know. Go Bluebirds!!!”

What if you got rid of expectations and focused on what you wanted instead? I bet you’d experience…
•    More responsibility, less resentment
•    More courage, less disappointment
•    More ownership, less compliance
•    More acceptance less judgment
•    More honesty, less assuming
•    More persistence, less aggression
•    More trust, less control
•    More creativity, less coercion
•    More intention, less luck
•    More asking, less wishing
•    More mistakes, fewer failures
•    More joy, less justifying
•    More goals, fewer rules

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Upcoming Events

If you haven’t RSVP’d for our exciting event on January 20th, please e-mail michele@next-element.com today!
Lefeuvre-Pauley Jan 2012

We are extending December’s E-News contest until February, to learn more, here’s a link to December’s E-News, look for “Play Time,” and submit your entry!

You still time to register for Nate’s Feb. 14 “Essential Techniques for Productive Meetings” through Lorman Education.

There are a smattering of new public seminars available at MUSE School California throughout this year – while it’s not the Newton KS Train Station, it’s still a pretty cool location.  For complete information on all our upcoming seminars, please visit our calendar at next-element.com

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“Knowing about a tool is one thing. Having the guts to use it in a way that brings art to the world is another.” – Seth Godin

Over 40 years ago, Dr. Taibi Kahler discovered patterns of human interaction and communication that allow people to anticipate and respond more effectively to each other – second, by second. The science behind this has been proven. The art of using this tool continues to evolve, and we are grateful to be part of it.

Communication: Art or Simply a Means to an End?

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We love to share the word about the amazing stuff our friends and clients are doing. We know it is short notice…(Registration deadline is today, Jan. 13) and, this experiential symposium at Iowa State University is sure to be incredible!

Iowa State – Symposium

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We look forward to seeing many of you at the 22nd Annual International Association for Challenge Course Technology Conference in Boston, MA next month!  Please come say “hi” at one of our workshops or in the exhibit hall.  And we’re pretty doggone honored to have our very own Jeff King as the official emcee of the conference!

ACCT Conference Link

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Hot Wings Siting!

We received this fun Hot Wings siting from our friend Abe Regier, in Pittsburg PA.  The photograph is Maisie Harms, also known as the genius chef at Chez Cottingham.  Abe enjoyed the “Wing, Slider Patty and Nugget Platter.”

“Juicy, presumptuous, with a kick of phthalates. Oak-y, but at the same time plastic. The mouth feel is much more tender than we expected–the outer coating gives to the teeth. We highly recommend these Fisher Price wings for getting your fix. Any time, no prep, no mess = no wait for your wings.”