Obviously…Duh!
In our white paper “Three words that can change your life,” we suggested words that seem to predictably spell disaster and rarely occur in helpful and constructive communication.
Well, we’ve found another… “obviously.” We’ve been racking our brains for constructive uses of this word, and haven’t come up with much. “Obviously, we should take this course of action.” “Obviously you haven’t listened to the instructions,” or “Obviously..Duh!” Obviously is used mostly to convey the implicit message, “you are stupid for not understanding this, or seeing it my way.”
Let’s remember that perception is reality..to you and to me. Therefore, things that may seem obvious to one person may not be obvious to another. If three people can witness a crime and have three different stories of what happened, what was obvious about it?
How often do speakers, teachers, even parents begin a sentence with this word or one of its synonyms: evidently, plainly, patently, manifestly, noticeably, unmistakably, undeniably, incontrovertibly, demonstrably, unquestionably, indubitably, undoubtedly, without doubt, doubtless, of course, naturally, needless to say, or it goes without saying? If this is you, what are your true intentions behind it? What is being implied by your use of this word? Are you implying that your way is the only way? You could be subtly undermining another person’s perspective, or even inviting them to go on the defensive and not hear what you are trying to say.
Dig deep, take stock, and see if you can eliminate obviously from your vocabulary. Try replacing it with the phrase “from my perspective…” We predict you will come across as more respectful and will experience improved communication.
Enjoy this tip from Next Element, where our goal is to promote a greener way to communicate!
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Actually is the word I would add to this discussion. When used repeatedly it diminishes an effective presentation. I would suggest substituting the phrase ‘let me clarify’ in place of saying ‘actually’.
Another word that makes our presentations less effective is the word truthfully. When one uses the word truthfully it implies that everything said up to that point wasn’t truthfull. There is no substitute for the truth – eliminate this word from presentations.
Nice addition, Tim. Great point about words like Actually and Truthfully. They certainly can serve to diminish what was previously said, regardless of who said it.
I’d caution a bit on “let me clarify…” as a substitute. In certain situations it can be helpful. Sometimes the phrase is used when people are feeling frustrated by not being understood. It sends the message, “I’m going to simplify it for those of you who didn’t get it the first time around”, or “I’m going to say the same thing louder rather than changing my approach for you”.
Thanks, and keep the comments coming!
Verbal fillers, in my opinion, are the worst impediments to effective communication. Words like…”like” and “um” and “you know” are enough to drive you mad. They stop communication dead in its tracks. And instead of listening or learning, audiences fidget and become annoyed and start counting the number of times a person utters these useless words.
Of course, there is an remedy for verbal fillers. Just shut up! Stop talking, take a deep breathe, and they will slowly, almost magically, disappear!
My pet hates are “but” and “however”. It undermines the first statement(s) and the listener gets a sinking feeling. It would be more authentic to start with the bad news first and help people deal with it, than what can appear as a false positive, leading up to the bombshell. And if your audience is looking puzzled or bored, ask them if they have any questions before you continue – that’s authentic communication!
I agree with Annette 100%. Let me share the zinger I used to get from a VP – “let me unpack that a bit” Yuck!
Among useless words is “solutions.” I wrote a blog about this a few months ago. Look at the ads in any business publication and you’ll find many companies offering solutions. They even use the word in their company names. Two examples: Innovation Solutions and Tire Company Solutions. But what problems are they are solving?
Going back to your original word, ‘obviously,’ it reminded me of the phrase ‘no brainer,’ as in ‘What we need to do is a no brainer,’ usually accompanied by a look that suggests that no further discussion is needed. The insinuation is that it is so obvious what is needed, that there is no need even consider that there might be an alternative.
I appreciate the other comments, which I will bear in mind. Jeanette’s comment about ’solutions,’ is interesting and I think there is a tendency to reach for positive-sounding buzz words when trying to sell.
The word I think either needs to be understood better or dropped is ‘engagement.’ It seems to mean so many different things: providing information, persuasion, attention-grabbing, loyalty, as well as two-way open dialogue – the latter being my understanding. If asked what I understand by engagement, I make sure I define it first!